Stuff you don't want to hear from your Wedding Photographer

[Adam Goi]

True story:

My wedding photographer said to me, "If my shots don't turn out good, I apologize in advance". The moment I heard that, I sian jit-pua already. (And true enough, pics weren't good.)

:bheart:

 

[photobum]

67. Still shooting with film:

Wahlao! 42nd-frame already and still not rewinding. That is a really long...... or did my assistant reload film at all?

 

[Stereobox]

68. "remember the pose last time, with the other guy? do it again"

 

[photobum]

69. (This is a true story) Shooting film with a Hasselblad:

Wahlao! 14th-frame already and still didn't end. That is a really long...... or did my assistant not turn the winder on the film back before handing it to me?

 

[jesser]

70) Photographer:- Hmmm....no ang-bao?:dunno:

 

[Stereobox]

71. "let's get back together again, jane. are u sure you want to marry this guy?"

72. "psst..when can we claim the insurance..?"

 

[photobum]

73. Ansel Adams, the wedding photographer:

(Holding a Weston meter) "Mmmm.... let's place the white gown in Zone VIII and do a N-1 development in the darkroom later."

"That tuxedo should be placed in Zone IV instead of Zone III."

"Ladies and gentlemen, please hold very still! I am taking this at f64 at 90 seconds with a #15 filter. One thousand.... two thousand.... three thousand...."

 

[Stereobox]

73. Ansel Adams, the wedding photographer:

(Holding a Weston meter) "Mmmm.... let's place the white gown in Zone VIII and do a N-1 development in the darkroom later."

"That tuxedo should be placed in Zone IV instead of Zone III."

:bsmilie: idea!

74. HCB, the wedding photographer:

"Ok, that's it. i'm done for the day. i've captured the decisive moment."

 

[photobum]

:bsmilie: idea!

74. HCB, the wedding photographer:

"Ok, that's it. i'm done for the day. i've captured the decisive moment."

75. Weegee, the wedding photographer:

FLASH!!!!! Ok... close but no cigar! By the way, who took my Cuban?

(Looking around) Oh... I had it in my mouth all along.

 

[photobum]

76. Lois Greenfield, the wedding photographer:

Okay folks, listen here. Be very careful not to step on the bride's tram. Leap very high after I count to three.

Ready! 1....2.....3..... JUMP!

 

[photobum]

77. Robert Maplethorpe, the gay wedding photographer:

Now.... get a handful of each other's penis and kiss.

 

[opticspoint]

77. Robert Maplethorpe, the gay wedding photographer:

Now.... get a handful of each other's penis and kiss.

C'mon, there're lady forumers out here too and if you don't have anything against homosexuals don't make fun of them..at least not in here :nono:

 

[Yezrah]

14. Can you change your partner, cos he doesn't seem 18% grey to me... its hard to shoot a black man with a white woman.

:bsmilie: This is very funny.

 

[catchlights]

78. Can I don't put your wedding photos in my website? I worry it will affect my business.....

79. I can give your more free photos, but please don't tell people that I shot your wedding.

 

[Pablo]

80. The photographer couldn't make it, so don't blame me if these don't come out!

81. Ring.ring...hello, Jims autoshop, chemist, skydiving, panelbeater and photography.

 

[photobum]

C'mon, there're lady forumers out here too and if you don't have anything against homosexuals don't make fun of them..at least not in here :nono:

I have nothing against homesexuals, but have you got the chance to seen any of Maplethorpe's works? If you have seen them overseas (not in Singapore, because most of them are banned), you'll know what I meant.

I am just merely quoting this in that photographer's point of view, not mine.

 

[photobum]

81. Chin Jia Suay, the funeral cum wedding photographer:

"Half of the roll is your wedding, and the other half is Madam See's grand funeral. Must save film and developing costs lah."

 

[catchlights]

81. Chin Jia Suay, the funeral cum wedding photographer:

"Half of the roll is your wedding, and the other half is Madam See's grand funeral. Save film and developing money you know."

:bsmilie:
very good, very funny, keep remind me someone take photos of bride posing next to tombstone.

Choy, choy, choy, tai kat lei si.

 

[Petf69]

these are very good. I think we should put this as a sticky..or create a sub-forum for jokes...

keep it coming.....

Here's a real one:

*wedding march* "Presenting the Bride and Groom" *Door open* *all lights switched off*, *pitch black*, except the photographers infra-red scanning everywhere.."****!!!!....where are they???*.....:bsmilie:

 

[nightwolf75]

83. wat happens if Robert Capa was a wedding photographer...

Capa to Bride & Groom: Smile for me....
Bride & Groom to Capa: OI! get ur lens out of our faces!