Stuff you don't want to hear from your Wedding Photographer

[photobum]

98. James L. Stanfield (the National Geographic photographer who took the pyramid photos and moved them closer digitally so that they would fit the front cover of the February 1982 issue), the wedding photographer:

(Speaking to the groom who forgot to bring his deodorant)
"Not to worry! I will move you closer to the bride in Photoshop."

 

[ckiang]

67. Still shooting with film:

Wahlao! 42nd-frame already and still not rewinding. That is a really long...... or did my assistant reload film at all?

This happened to me before, thankfully NOT on a wedding. My old Nikon FE was going 37, 38, 39..... oh sh1t.

CF card errors on wedding days DO happen, so it's not funny if you are caught in that situation.

Oh, one thing not to say when you are trying to sell your services:-

"$xxxx is not expensive lah, weddings are a once in a lifetime affair"

You never know whether it's their first wedding.

Regards
CK

 

[Stereobox]

99. BMT Sergeant turned wedding photographer :

"Whole lot fall-in! You walk, you dare to walk! (pointing to bride) Change parade! All change back to PT attire and fall in in 5 minutes time!"

 

[AngelZhou]

100. Client : Why you keep on taking picture of the flower girl?
Photog : She not the bride meh?

 

[anka]

true story.

bride went to another room in the nite with the photographer during the wedding nite.

 

[DT_]

true story.

bride went to another room in the nite with the photographer during the wedding nite.

and wat happen?? hear more! hear more! hear more! hear more! ...

 

[anka]

and wat happen?? hear more! hear more! hear more! hear more! ...

well, the photographer could be me, could be someone else.. wont say who it is to protect that person.. maybe it's me. haha maybe it's not.

 

[DT_]

well, the photographer could be me, could be someone else.. wont say who it is to protect that person.. maybe it's me. haha maybe it's not.

yahh... the groom could be you, could be someone else too... wont say you hav your reason.. maybe ahem, or maybe ahemmmm.... ;p ;p haha, m i too playful..?

 

[anka]

better not say anymore, better safe guard myself.. woops. did i say myself? :bsmilie:

 

[DT_]

my boliao contribution.......... "a bit" hokkien soldier style lor...

101) AD 6:30am Ring Ring.. "Walao! Rain so big i trapped outside bus stop lar, and then how u go fetch bride like this! difficult to shoot oso ley, u must understand we are professional mah, how? how? how? see, see.. i think rain won't stop liao lar, very difficult, .. today u really suay lor, etc.. ba ba ba...

102) AD 7:30am The boys party is about to set off, not wanting to miss the right timing, ... Then photographer rushes to groom with crumple-face.. "Can jus hang on awhile... nah..nah..nah.. REALLLLLYYY BAD.. this morning already 5 times.. " .. helpless groom waited, when someone overheard him whispering to himself, "KN! shouldnt hav forgotten backup underwear.." while rushing to the toilet...

103) AD 2:00pm It's 5 mins before the chunch ceremony when the groom still had no sight of the photographer.. jus then the phone rang.. "Where HAR!? very hard to find leh.. wat street 11? where...." .....er...er... "SH!!!T! 'Parcel Lee' (Paris Ris) MEH! ... I though u tell me 'Macel Lee' (Marsiling) !!!"

104) AD 8:30pm As the hosts is still welcoming guests at the lobby, the groom hav a peep inside the ballroom, stunned by wat he saw... Photographer (seem to hav acquired a table of friends) screamed :"... LAI AR! EVERYTHING PUT ASIDE! U DRINK I DRINK! SEE WHO TAHAN.... after 2 glups .. COME SOME MORE!.. Lai BTBLP(Hokkien of cos)!!"

105) AD 11:00pm The whole day wedding event near ends after the dinner with around 38 tables group shots, host now proceeding to greet guests. Photographer approach the couple... "Still got wat u want to take? Your 8 roll films still got left 5 ROLLS leh! If nothing also no discount har.."

 

[DT_]

better not say anymore, better safe guard myself.. woops. did i say myself? :bsmilie:

yahh... the groom............ ;p

 

[photobum]

106. Lewis W. Hine (sociologist cum photographer of child labor and abuses during the early 20th century), the wedding photographer:

(Snap!) "That 5 year-old flower girl is performing illegal child labor."

 

[photobum]

107. Dorothea Lange (documentary photographer of farming and migrating trends in the United States during the early 20th century), the wedding photographer:

(Speaking to a China bride) "Can I photograph your Migrant Mother?"

 

[yqt]

108. Can I borrow your computer now? I want to post the picture to ask for comments to see how to improve.

 

[eikin]

109. please turn abit more, you look more slim that way

 

[yqt]

110. Can you lie down? I only shoot landscape and on wide angle :bsmilie: :bsmilie:

 

[yqt]

111. Oh thank you very much for the ang pow!!! I though I have to pay you to be your wedding photographer.

 

[yqt]

112. NAPNP ( No Ang Pow No Picture )

 

[bowwow]

113. <after the wedding festivities are over, guests have all left, seeing another photographer talking to the couple but not realising his presence 'coz of arriving late.>

excuse me, but who are you, ah?.....opps..... this is what ballroom again? Die! Wrong wedding! N'mind, can i interest you in some of your wedding pics? i give you very good discount. Really cheap.

 

[dawgbyte77]

114. To the groom... "Remember me? I'm the little kid you bully in school."

115. To the bride... "Hey... remember when we were in NS? You changed a lot!"

116. "What do you mean I'm the photographer?"

117. After the wedding... "Jia lat... forgot the lenscap again."

118. After the wedding... "Umm... you guys only need 4R size right?"