Stuff you don't want to hear from your Wedding Photographer

[dawgbyte77]

119. To the bride: "Please stand here... a bit to the left... stop... hold your skirt this way... good... don't move.. I forgot my reflector."

120. "Yeah... my sony camera has built-in phone... stop whining."

121. To the couple : "This is the lastest and most expensive camera in the market... um.. yeah... how do you turn this thing on..."

122. To the groom : "Smile... so you will remember how happy you once was."

123. To the bride : "Good luck! ahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaaa.. haiiizzz.. eheehe."

124. To the bride's mom : " So, you have room for rent?"

 

[Pablo]

125. You wanted good but cheap. This is my best pinhole camera.

126. Here is my card. When you get divorced, I do a good price for second wedding.

127. To Groom, "Hey Jim, 3rd time lucky ?" ... to Bride, Don't worry, you are the perfect match for him, because you look like you drink like a fish too.

128. I decided to update my cameras, you know, keep up with the latest gear. I bought this 20D but can't find how to wind on the film.

 

[photobum]

129. Playboy photographer turns wedding photographer:

"Smile..... Yes. Open up - WIDE!"

 

[photobum]

130. Taking a wedding group with a Noblex panoramic camera:

"Ooooooooooo............... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh............... Wwwoooooooooooo................ !!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[photobum]

131. Yann Arthus-Bertrand, the aerial photographer turns wedding photographer:

(Speaking in a heavy French accent) " Madame, Monsieur, please look upz. I'm photographie from ze helicopter. You'll look zmall from là."

 

[catchlights]

130. Taking a wedding group with a Noblex panoramic camera:

"Ooooooooooo............... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh............... Wwwoooooooooooo................ !!!!!!!!!!!"

How 'bout using [SIZE=-1]Roundshot [/SIZE]panoramic camera? :bsmilie:

 

[Pablo]

132. Now we are all going to jump out of an airplane in an Elvis costume.
When I give you the sign, everybody hold out your hamburger and say,"thank you very much".
This will make a great wedding picture; don't you think ???

 

[acidbyte]

133. Hmmm...<fiddling in his waist pouch> so what will it be for today...take photo with my O2 mini or Nokia N90.

134. <gathers family for a group shot>..okie..now all you guys stand still for the...er..let's say...2hrs...<takes out drawing pad, paint brush, paint.....>

135. Eh? Anyone got spare CF? I just got my D70, tot i can use the SD which came with my phone.

 

[eikin]

136 'now i want the bride and the groom to kiss ... ok good ... hold it ... hold it ... not yet ... wait ah ... hold it ... no not yet ... hold it ... hold it ... '

 

[Stereobox]

137. "this is absolutely the MOST boring wedding i've ever attended...and boy, isn't that the ugliest bride you've ever seen?" .... accidently captured on audio by the videographer, and played back in the wedding day highlights to all the guests during the dinner

 

[catchlights]

136 'now i want the bride and the groom to kiss ... ok good ... hold it ... hold it ... not yet ... wait ah ... hold it ... no not yet ... hold it ... hold it ... '

I let you tap along is to ask you see how I shoot, not to copy what I said!! ;(

 

[yqt]

138. That a lovely gown. My mom wore the same one on her wedding.

139. You mean you don't have a seat for me during dinner? %#*!@&+*^<

140. Who's that old Ah Beng talking to your mother

141. You look happier than at your last wedding

142. So the slimming sessions didn't work right?

 

[yqt]

I let you tap along is to ask you see how I shoot, not to copy what I said!! ;(

Ask you to let me tag along you don't lar, see what happen.:sticktong

 

[singscott]

143. I know where your new wife sensitive spots are she my EX.:bsmilie:

 

[bowwow]

144. I'm sorry i'm a little late but i had to go sign my divorce papers. So, the two of you are getting married?....

145. Sorry I'm late but my wife just left me to elope with some guy who's about to get married. HEY! WHAT'S THAT B*T*H DOING HERE!!!!!!

 

[dawgbyte77]

146. "Wait... I just remembered a joke... I go post in clubsnap."

- based on true story... just kidding.

 

[yqt]

147. Are you the bride whose ROM I screw up? No har..... heng ah!

 

[yqt]

148. I'm also your driver, studio call and said photographer late so ask me to take first. Ah.... you got cam. can borrow me?

 

[jsbn]

From a true 1st-hand experience with a wedding photographer.

- Clubsnap? Yah heard of them. Those ppl in there? Hahahaa... Dunno wad to say man. I oso rarely go there.

 

[josho]

149. Caa the MUA come and touch up here?? She look ultimate awful without the make up! I scare my len will get infected!

150. Wahlao eh Mister Groom, Give ang pow give until so 'niao' Give more leh..... Why show such a pity face!!

151. At the middle of the dinner, sorry times up. GTG! Cant stay any longer.

152. Do you wan ur pic to be print on A4 size paper? No color. Thats the most budget and save cost for ur wedding.

153. Sorry, Can I have the laptop to check if the lighting is correct? My playback screen just R.I.P.

154. Hey! I saw u at Geylang recently!!! Room .... right???!!!