Sentosa Thread LX (60) - furball 59:984 "Congrads to NW and wifey on second baby"


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Lost Girlfriend

A guy walks up to a beautiful girl in a supermarket and asks, "Excuse me, but I lost my girl friend, would you mind standing here and talking to me for a few minutes?"

The girl says, "I guess, but I don't see how it would help any."

The guy replies, "Well you see, every time I meet a beautiful woman with boobs like yours my girlfriend appears out of nowhere!"
 

must be yesterday's orange juice......:bsmilie:
 

Lost Girlfriend

A guy walks up to a beautiful girl in a supermarket and asks, "Excuse me, but I lost my girl friend, would you mind standing here and talking to me for a few minutes?"

The girl says, "I guess, but I don't see how it would help any."

The guy replies, "Well you see, every time I meet a beautiful woman with boobs like yours my girlfriend appears out of nowhere!"
why OJ?
 

THE NAKED SUNBATHER

Three guys are walking down the beach, when they see this beautiful woman laying naked on the beach. The first guy goes over to her and starts making love to her, when she says, "What will we name the child?"
The guy freaks and runs away. So the second guy goes over to her and starts doing his thing when she says, "What will we name the child?"
He freaks out also and runs away. The third guy has been watching all this. So he puts on a condom and goes to do his thing. when she says, "What will we name the child?"
He ignores her and keeps on going. She keeps asking but he keeps going.
Finally he finishes and pulls off the condom, ties a knot in the end of the rubber and throws it in the ocean. He turns to the girl and says, "If he gets out of that, we'll call him Houdini."
 

Quotes By Famous People

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-- singer Mariah Carey.

Question: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest.

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
--Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22.

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

"Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued... Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976."
-- Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid.

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history...We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential candidate during a news conference in which he was asked his opinion of the Holocaust.

"Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself."
-- Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator".

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.

"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted."
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.

"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island.

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
-- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
 

Requesting a three day pass
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
 

Making a bet at a bar
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
 

Still have but some R(A) ones, not appropriate for the online LoL...
 

wtd comic time.

http://web.mac.com/aaronandpatty/iWeb/What the Duck/Images/WTD306.gif
WTD306.gif
 

fustration.gif


...you all beli free ah??
 

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