How to overcome shyness

[trlnlty]

your self esteem seems pretty low..

go get a gym membership.. talk to one of the trainers.. tell them you want to built your overall strength.. gain more muscle

up to you if u want to get the personal trainer.. but most imporatnt is lift weights !!!

trust me .. your self esteem will shoot up once u start packing some muiscle

 

[anthony.phua]

I think you need to ask yourself if you are an introvert or extrovert. Shyness is usually associated with an introvert personality (like me).

Even though I do practise and talk to people, I'll never turn into an extrovert. It's an in-built thingy. I can definitely use my left hand to write if I'm right-handed. But no matter how hard I practice, my left hand will never write as well as my dominant right-hand.

So just practise a lot and remember, you can't change mother nature.

Anthony

 

[kitkat]

I think you need to ask yourself if you are an introvert or extrovert. Shyness is usually associated with an introvert personality (like me).

Even though I do practise and talk to people, I'll never turn into an extrovert. It's an in-built thingy. I can definitely use my left hand to write if I'm right-handed. But no matter how hard I practice, my left hand will never write as well as my dominant right-hand.

So just practise a lot and remember, you can't change mother nature.

Anthony

I beg to differ

I was an introvert 15 years back, very shy and seldom communicate. Seldom spoke a word and pretty lonely

After several hard knocks and staying in oversea, i have make several changes.

Now, I do enjoy talking to people , giving speeches (in public) and love to help and have great friends. Life is great.

One way in overcoming as before mention is to join the toast masters. The more you practise, the more you will be comfortable. Mix with strangers and talk to them. Take a part time sales too if you have time. Most important, expand your network.

Lastly, never say "never". Humans change - for the better or worst. It is how we perceive what we want to be in the future, that we take action now.

Challenge to change

 

[LordAeRo]

Well I guess one of the most important things is what goes on in the mind. If you think you can do it, you CAN do it. So, think positively.

When I become scared/nervous (when giving speeches), I normally ask myself the reason for my shyness. Is it because I might say the wrong stuff? Is it because people will start laughing at me? After thinking about it, I realised that giving a speech ain't so bad after all. Let's face it, the people aren't going to eat you up or something just because you're on stage talking. Then, when giving my speech, I realised everyone was keeping quiet and listened to what I said (quite the opposite when I do the same in school) so in a way it's kinda cool.

When I first started meeting people for buying and selling stuff, I initially too was afraid. Of what? I did not know. So like the afforementioned example, I started thinking. Then I realised that the people whom I'm meeting might be even more afraid than me. After that I started to relax. And after all, people on CS aren't an evil lot. Some even invited me to shoots and outings. Which is cool.

So in all, it's all in the HEAD. If others can do it, why not you? (Guiness did NOT pay me to say that)

 

[catchlights]

That's true. So far no CSer has been eaten by a model in a photo shoot.

One thing don't look too delicious though when you turn up for a photo shoot.

Yes, models will no eat photographers mostly, but someone said this

Eurasianbabe, u should have received a lot of email from this group of crocodiles already. you might want to put them in your ignore list.

"Microsoft, doing stuff with just a right right click."

 

[Pro Image]

i very shy leh, i mumble when ppl talk to me, esp girls, and those very nice looking girls... omg... :cry:

maybe we should organise a shy guy outing... but den again, i wonder how we could meet up...

You shy..............? Very funny..........:bsmilie:

Girls........this is is not shy at all!

 

[hongsien]

I think you need to ask yourself if you are an introvert or extrovert. Shyness is usually associated with an introvert personality (like me).

Even though I do practise and talk to people, I'll never turn into an extrovert. It's an in-built thingy. I can definitely use my left hand to write if I'm right-handed. But no matter how hard I practice, my left hand will never write as well as my dominant right-hand.

So just practise a lot and remember, you can't change mother nature.

Anthony

I beg to differ too....

I also used to be an introvert person, I always stayed at home, doing my homework, had not too many friends. I was shy too, didn't want to look into other peoples eyes.

I think opening up yourself to others helps alot......tell others what you think, don't be afraid if they might disagree. When opening up to others, others may also want to accept you more readily.......maybe that's why I had many girls as good friends, girls tend to be more open then guys. Guys always have this 'macho' thing, they can't tell others their weaknesses for example, afraid they would be made a laughing stock (their ego is telling them this), get out of this! It is not reality! It is preconditioned on you...........

Hong Sien

 

[shutterfly]

Thanks for all wonderful advice.

Glad to hear that some of you guys have managed to get out of your shy nature. I guess it really takes someone who is really shy in nature to truely understand how it feels.

Talking about maintaining eye contact. I do have this problem of looking away. I tried to maintain eye contact during a conversation but when I do that, I get more nervous and have a hard time time concentrating. Also when I feel shy, sometimes I tend to blush. :embrass:

My closer friends once told me I look "tau" when they first met me cos I am too quiet.

Anyone out there stil currently combating your shyness?

 

[hongsien]

Thanks for all wonderful advice.

Glad to hear that some of you guys have managed to get out of your shy nature. I guess it really takes someone who is really shy in nature to truely understand how it feels.

Talking about maintaining eye contact. I do have this problem of looking away. I tried to maintain eye contact during a conversation but when I do that, I get more nervous and have a hard time time concentrating. Also when I feel shy, sometimes I tend to blush. :embrass:

My closer friends once told me I look "tau" when they first met me cos I am too quiet.

Anyone out there stil currently combating your shyness?

Try looking at the mirror and practice.........

Just kidding, lah! But it may help! Good luck! Life is an experience..........

I am not shy anymore, in fact Ilike giving speeches and alk about my work while I was still doing science.

My biggest problem now is how to overcome my fear of heights!

HS

 

[Benign]

Anyone out there stil currently combating your shyness?

Yes, I am still shy about posing as centrefold in playgal lor. :embrass:

 

[hongsien]

I found this while searching for info on the cause of fear of heights:

http://www.thehealthcenter.info/emotions/irrationalfear/coping.htm

There is a practical you can do yourself..........

HS

 

[simon80]

your self esteem seems pretty low..

go get a gym membership.. talk to one of the trainers.. tell them you want to built your overall strength.. gain more muscle

up to you if u want to get the personal trainer.. but most imporatnt is lift weights !!!

trust me .. your self esteem will shoot up once u start packing some muiscle

I agree with this ..

when u look good , u feel good
when u feel good , u naturally feel more confident ..

And u wont mind girls worshipping your muscles .. haha

 

[hongsien]

And u wont mind girls worshipping your muscles .. haha

But what if some 'guys' also start to worship you???? ;-)

 

[simon80]

But what if some 'guys' also start to worship you???? ;-)

u will be fit enough to wack them
run if their fitter than u :bsmilie:

 

[trlnlty]

I agree with this ..

when u look good , u feel good
when u feel good , u naturally feel more confident ..

And u wont mind girls worshipping your muscles .. haha

on top of this, get some nice clothes as well.

how old are you ?

above 25? stop with the t-shirt and jeans already, try mixing it up with nice short sleeves + polo's with khaki's or jeans.

long sleeve and sweaters always get the girls wet as well. Trying hitting up raoul, not to expensive for the quatlity you are getting. on a budget? i donno, maybe g2000 or something.

also get some nice cologne, i recommand issey miyaki but thats just me.

its all about feeling confident, if you feel confident you will be confident, thats what chicks like.

i'll add more as i go along.

 

[JediForce4ever]

Ohh.....I've got this horrid problem too....being very shy....especially in front of the girl that I love.....whenever I see her I go speechless....without her around however....I'm always thinking about my dear 20D in my dry box....

 

[Sion]

.......long sleeve and sweaters always get the girls wet as well.

You mean wearing them in a rainy day?

 

[Del_CtrlnoAlt]

You mean wearing them in a rainy day?

i think he meant, they see u wear them under the hot singapore sun, u dun sweat, they also kinda 'sweat' with u... :bsmilie:

 

[Germinc]

I used to be shy also. But go new school force to make frens with new people i guess getoVer it loh