Gf's bro wanted my free service.

[Xpose]

haiz......just tell you gf's bro that this is a once in a lifetime event and you feel that you are not up to the standard and if really want to save money, save it on some other thing like condoms, birth control pills, hotel room and etc lah.....married already no need these things......can save alot in a year you know?

My cousin employed a photographer for her big day, and all the shots in the afternoon tea ceremony were gone due to the photographer faulty shutter plane in the camera, heng he manage to detect the fault as he developed the photo out in the afternoon back at his place and change a camera but......nabei......that camera also got shutter problem....ended up with no shoots at all the the whole event except for the morning part. The photographer keep saying sorry and planned to wavie all charges and retake the whole event again but my cousin and her hubby were very upset and furious. The worst thing is that stupid photographer keep on insisting on taking the whole event again which added to their anger.....how can such event be retaken? Who bear the cost? In the end they made the photographer and his company compensate one time jialak jialak. Lucky for them, they managed to savage some shoot from relatives pns camera.....one thing i couldn't stand that photographer was that he really yaya payaya....when pple tries to take photo he will comment and request them not to taken any shoot as flashes from the camera and the AF infra red from the camera will affect his photo and focus lah and blah blah blah but in the end who's the one who never check that his equipment is in good and servicable order? Till now they are very upset and disappointed with what had happened as its a once in a lifetime event

 

[palvin]

haiz......just tell you gf's bro that this is a once in a lifetime event and you feel that you are not up to the standard and if really want to save money, save it on some other thing like condoms, birth control pills, hotel room and etc lah.....married already no need these things......can save alot in a year you know?

My cousin employed a photographer for her big day, and all the shots in the afternoon tea ceremony were gone due to the photographer faulty shutter plane in the camera, heng he manage to detect the fault as he developed the photo out in the afternoon back at his place and change a camera but......nabei......that camera also got shutter problem....ended up with no shoots at all the the whole event except for the morning part. The photographer keep saying sorry and planned to wavie all charges and retake the whole event again but my cousin and her hubby were very upset and furious. The worst thing is that stupid photographer keep on insisting on taking the whole event again which added to their anger.....how can such event be retaken? Who bear the cost? In the end they made the photographer and his company compensate one time jialak jialak. Lucky for them, they managed to savage some shoot from relatives pns camera.....one thing i couldn't stand that photographer was that he really yaya payaya....when pple tries to take photo he will comment and request them not to taken any shoot as flashes from the camera and the AF infra red from the camera will affect his photo and focus lah and blah blah blah but in the end who's the one who never check that his equipment is in good and servicable order? Till now they are very upset and disappointed with what had happened as its a once in a lifetime event

Who is the photographer? Perhaps we can black list them? Hehe... Anyway, this is something which worries me too.

 

[palvin]

i have a better idea, why not email him a few photogs that you admire, and tell him that you spend effort finding a photographer for him?

:think: ...

 

[erizai]

Same sentiment here..

You keep harping on his faults.......don't make it become 'your' problem. That's his......just don't become like him too by weighing things against each other.

The fact that you would do it for a better person, means you like to do the wedding photography. So, just do it, no matter for who it is.

Whatever aftereffects it will create, that is not your current concern, unless you know your photography is lousy, then you have the responsibility to tell him.

And whatever you do, do it with heart, and do your best for it!

HS

 

[palvin]

Please read my thread carefully. I replied your thread in red.

very funny reading all the constructive comments posted.

i feel the gf was bit silly in offering to shoot with a p&s, and now she got into a fix
coz p&s will be hard to get the kind of standard shots for wedding. (She did not offer to shoot with a PnS. Its her brother who wants her to shoot with a PnS camera. She was worried for the PnS quality that she requested me to shoot for her brother despite her brother don't want me to shoot for him! Clear?)
And u feel trapped coz u happen to have a dslr. lol

[/I])

 

[palvin]

Palvin,

You are really between a rock and a hard place. Either way, you are screwed. The decision you made should be based on which is the lesser of 2 evils. Bear in mind, I really do not care how you feel about your future brother in law, how you think he is a cheapskate, how you are being taken advantage of. Those are neither of the 2 evils you are facing.

I am making an assumption that you and your gf are in a or going towards a long term relationship. If not, decision is so much easier.

I am also making another assumption that you are not a professional photographer, nor a semi-professional, nor a seasoned wedding photographer.

So, here are your real problems.

You don't shoot.
1) Your gf gets unhappy. She is put on the spot becasue you refused to help.
2) Your future father and mother in laws get unhappy. (you brother in law's feeling does not count.)

You shoot.
1) Your pictures came out ok, nothing great, and all your future in laws start complaining. (My assumption is your pictures won't be good because you don't want to shoot and you are not experienced)
2) Your gf is put on the spot because your pictures were not masterpieces.
If you shoot, there will be one more downside. Other relatives will be asking. And you won't be able to charge them, and even if you can, at slave labor rates.

I don't know what you will do. I know what I will do. I never say no to any request for a shoot of anything, but I will always charge expenses. No exception. And I quote extremely high expenses, which scares away everyone, except one, and man, that was a tough experience. So, I triple my expenses since then. No one ask me to shoot things I don't like to shoot any more.

I won't shoot. Simple. I would tell him straight up, that I never shoot if my expenses not covered. What's your excuses? You have to think of one. Be honest, but a white lie sometimes makes things easier to swallow.

Well, thanks for your advices. Still thinking of an excuse to shun this event.

 

[palvin]

Hi Palvin
I read thru the YOUR POSTINGS, and if you dun mind me saying, I think your gf's bro is selfish, stingy, got bad attitute, calculative and not humble, and sad to say, i feel that you are just as worse.
When you love someone, it doesnt mean you have to do only nice things for her alone, or only doing good things to ppl related to her. A person's real worth is to do good things for everyone, and not looking for a return favour.
You keep complaining abt yr gf's bro, but at the same time you are complaining abt "small ang pow", "free service", "not appreciating", etc.... why are you so petty? Yes anyone will complain, but take it as not everyone is the same and STOP looking at other ppl like that when you should look at yrself.
The solution is very simple:
If I love this girl, I will give my time and effort to give my best shots for his wedding, and also give him a presentable ang pow and NOT thinking of anything in return. My gf will be able to see the true me in this action. But if I have not enough confidence of my standard of photography, I will request that I can HELP in the shooting instead, and advise him to engage a "pro" instead.
Come on, grow up. Dun be such a petty a55hole..... :nono:

Sorry but i do not want your comments on how you feel about me being as worse as my gf's bro. You got no right to say how you feel about me and you don't even know me! Your words are offending, kid. Didn't study well in your primary school? And its not because of being petty over this but its of dignity! Don't you have one? (I find it useless telling you all these.)

So as you said, if you were in my shoes, you'll do your best to take good pictures for the girl you love and don't want any return. How noble are you! I admit, i am not as noble (or rather stupid) as you.

So, for the a55hole who scolded me a55hole, watch your words. Or else your mouth will rot. :thumbsd:

 

[palvin]

The cheapskate people usually think in the same way. They want many many photographs, of them doing everything. So, I'm sure Palvin can deliver.

All you need is a good flash, lots of battery, set the camera to 'P' or 'Auto' mode, and keep shooting. Save it as JPEG. No need superfine even. Keep the filesize small, and keep shooting at everything. No need to compose very well. Just keep it quite wide and get everything in the frame. Not so wide until got distortion (cheapskate people don't like that arty farty thing). It should be a rather brainless affair.

Get a portable HDD and keep storing them. After that, burn a DVD for him. If he gets loads of pictures, he will say that you are good. Such is the mentality of the cheapskate people. I have a friend who is a bit like that. She paid for her photographer (but he was cheap). She got loads and loads of lousy shots of her looking like a ghost, but she loves it. :bsmilie:

I say shoot the event and enjoy yourself. You need to be there anyway, so there's no opportunity cost. So, you get to be there, enjoy yourself, save yourself one Ang Pow money, and he'll be happy if he gets loads of shots... and you won't need to confront your girlfriend.

Maybe i should ask him what kind of photos he wants me to shoot?
1) Alot of photos but lousy one?
2) Lesser photos but better one?

 

[palvin]

The comments given here are all over the fence... anyway, here's my advice:

Firstly, since your gf said that she wants you to help take photos, I guess she was expect you to do it on your part, maybe because she trust you, maybe because she felt that she could save on expenses(remember that most people probably won't understand why photographers are so expensive to hire, since 'anyone' can just pick up a camera and shoot. Goes the same for alot of other jobs.)

Secondly, for me, I wouldn't mind doing the photoshoot, cuz firstly, I'm doing it on the request of my gf, not on her brother's request. It makes a difference. Secondly, I won't be so calculative on money matters.. treat it as though it's a practice session. Or a day out just to enjoy your hobby (shooting).

Now think of the short term vs long term possible gains/damages.
Yes, you'll save on shuttercount, you save on services, you'll save on alot of other things.. However, what happens to that faith your gf had of you, what happens to the relationship between you and her family members? Would they think of you as a money-minded individual? (not that i'm implying you're one) I just feel that sometimes, we shouldn't be too calculative.. For example, I've given treats to my friends numerous times, but have never thought of wanting a similar treat back. Why then, should it apply to a future family member? Sometimes, money just isn't everything.

Put yourself in your gf's shoes, she's probably sandwiched in between right now. She want's both you and her brother to have what they want. It isn't easy to be in that position.

Hi lypklypk, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Its true that its not easy to be sandwiched in between 2 person. Well, i will have a good talk with my gf.

 

[GeckoZ]

wah so cheapskate ar. tell him good quality = good money. FOC work just give him some sample photos, while u continue ur professionalism to shoot throughout the wedding and enjoy the food at the same time. how about tt?

u can satisfy him and at the same time satisfy ur stomach + gain another experience to take photo. :bsmilie:

 

[Xpose]

Who is the photographer? Perhaps we can black list them? Hehe... Anyway, this is something which worries me too.

erh can't say it out lah.....later the company come sue me......what happen was between them and my cousin......

Hint Hint: i start with S and i am located at the outskirt of central singapore where the ******g river flow where water will triumph over fire

 

[togu]

Reminder to all members,

Please refrain from name callings, let's keep the discussion healthy.

Thank you for your kind cooperation.


Moderator
Kopitiam

 

[vernonleow]

hey Palvin, how come nobody in the entire 8 pages that this thread has generated ask you to dump your gf and move on? KIDDING!

I've been in your position before. Here's my two cents...

Do your best to get the job done. Why?

So that:

You become a better photographer from the experience.

Your conscience is clear. (You will no doubt continue to improve in your photography but you've done your best this time).

And most of all, because you'll be the bigger man and will sleep better for it.

Don't do it if:

You know for sure the images are not up to standard. Wedding photography is very stressful (more so for someone you might be seeing a long long time) so be mentally prepared.

As much as I dread the stress, each and every time after I shoot a wedding, I find myself smiling during editing.

Good luck!

 

[Belle&Sebastain]

:think: ...

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: go for the finest photographers! no expenses spared, that way you show that you care by your effort to list down the photographers and you can attend at peace and knowing the photogs will turn out as whichever photog he choses. If he still wants you do draft a contract and invoice to bill him.:thumbsup:

shooting a wedding requires lots of passion for myself. If you love that person do it for free, otherwise charge him. Takes me 85-90 man hours to deal with an entire wedding from meeting to delievering the final product, why should it be cheap or free?

 

[davsmiths]

erm, so when's the wedding day?

We go crash and take pictures of him loh. One photographer one picture, end of the day, pay us for our picture.

Pay to get pictures, no pay we go away.

Anyway... have you reached a conclusion? I think alot of discussion already.

You should be able to decide for yourself now right? Do share with us your thoughts and current decision.

 

[jsbn]

so how wat's the verdict?

just so i know when i get into that position ahahhaa..

somehow, i enjoy my singlehood. :bsmilie:

Singlehood rox! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

[jsbn]

Well, thanks for your advices. Still thinking of an excuse to shun this event.

Doesn't excuses like diarrhea solves everything? :think:

Or major headache.

 

[xtemujin]

Many people have given their opinion about what you've asked whether to take the photos for your girlfriend brother's wedding.

You've also answered many of the opinions here and we've ding-dong ding-dong until 8 pages. Go or no go for the photo shoot ?

 

[arpinkor]

Singlehood rox! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I think the TS still single (he referred to gf) :bsmilie:
More like available-hood rox.

 

[kklee]

I know Its not good to say bad things of my gf's bro in a public forum but it did made me a little furious.

See, during my gf bro's ROM, he did not want me to take pic for him. He only asked my gf to take using the P+S camera. My gf is quite concern over the quality of the photo and hence asked me to take for him. Ok, so i reluctantly take it for him using my DSLR and i was not appreciated that much. Its free service and i did it for my gf's request.

Then this time, her bro wants me to be the AD photographer for his wedding day and dinner. What he suggested was that i can go to the wedding dinner without giving him "ang pow" but i need to be the photographer for the day! Its like giving me a free meal for my effort.

The way he puts it, is telling me that my service is worth only the market price of the wedding dinner "ang pow".

So do you think i still take it for him for free? Cos he can easily engage a photographer from Malaysia and it cost only RM$500. But lets say if i charge him cheap price at $250. After giving him a $80 "ang pow", i still have $170 left!

Her bro is a little cheap skate. Pros out there, what are your advices?

Just to share my views after re-reading your original posting.

On the parts that I've highlighted in red, I would have felt very furious on being manipulated i.e. gf bro "insisted" not to ask you to take the photos and "insisted" on her using the P&S camera knowing very well given her this heavy responsibility, she would definately turn to you and you would agree. Since you already committed on taking the ROM, if he asked, thru her, again, it's like an almost guarrantee that you will take up this job.

Your GF is in a difficult situation, only way is to get her out of her misery is to talk to the brother directly.

Tell him in the face that you cannot be his photographer. If he ask why, say due to personal reason. If he ask what personal reasons, tell him since already personal reasons, means personal ! If he keeps harassing your, final straw is, ask him, is it he doesn't want you to go to his wedding

Bottom line is, just because one knows photography ( PRO or otherwise ) doesn't mean he or she has to be exploited.