Gf's bro wanted my free service.

[palvin]

It depends on how u look at it.... does ur gf worth more than being a free AD and ang pow for his bro....

I will do it even i know im being exploited... all these just to put a smile on ur gf's face...why not?

Cheers!

I don't mind doing all these for my gf. But... hmm....

 

[palvin]

Its two side - Shoot so that in the future, you gf's family will accept you and not give you so much problems.

On the other side, don't shoot, because of your first post.

If I was you, I would shoot, but give the photos in a CD.

My gf's family has somehow accepted me already.
Give photos in a CD? For his ROM, i did not print for him also.

 

[palvin]

If you shoot just to make peace with your gf and her family, you will be forever be making peace. It will be never ending.

Your gf must understand you and must be on your side. If she is not, it's a good indication of things to come. I am assuming you and your gf are very close, and are contemplating a life together.

Yah, but i also don't want my gf to be in a difficult position. She is patient and kind enough to listen to my feelings about this.

 

[palvin]

Gently turn down the offer.

As long as you stand by your opinion: Either you get decently paid or he go engaged in another professional.

Your gf will love you for that. Girls don't like their guys giving in to anything unreasonable.
They may throw up a fuss, but as long as you can handle it, you will be scoring in their heart.

In fact by giving in, you are not showing that you are capable of defending yourself. No girls like a guy who can't protect themselves cos then how to protect the girls?

If your gf think otherwise, that's only b'cos she is still immature. :sweatsm:

Ok, somehow your words enlightened me. Everyman must have their own stand right? Even if i'm faced with someone so called "VIP", i shall live according to my likings.

 

[palvin]

i m in the situation as u r,

i said this to my friend instead : " i m interested in photography but my skill is not that good enough to make a living, if i m paid , i can try harder , but if there is no reward, u dun come after me n say that my photographs is not to the standard u expected. "

in the end , he kuai kuai go engage a photographer for his AD, so i have my own photos shots, he got his own desire dream photograph n the AD is a great 1.

So on his wedding day, you got take pics even the actual AD photographer was there?

 

[KNIGHT ONG]

Ok, somehow your words enlightened me. Everyman must have their own stand right? Even if i'm faced with someone so called "VIP", i shall live according to my likings.

If you like it .. go ahead.

If you dont like it .. reject it.

It is going to be a long term relationship between your future brother-in-law, dont waste time anymore if you dont wanna do it, sound out early said you are not prepared.

It is not a matter of $$$ , make it clear.

 

[palvin]

This is definitely exploitation simply basing on a relationship u have with his sister.

Hey, i agree with you! He based on a relationship to get good deals. I understand that some money are to be spent instead of saving it. From his words, i can know how miser he is. I don't want to be exploited by him.

 

[palvin]

Very simple,

i. U pyscho him to engaged me.

ii. I charged him double.

iii. We split the extras.

Advantages:

i. U enjoy ur dinner.
ii. U need not worry about him commenting on your photos.
iii. U can recover back your angbao money and still have extras.

:bsmilie: :bsmilie: :bsmilie:

Ehh... partnership bro? :thumbsup:

 

[palvin]

Firstly, I'd advise you to not listen to anyone who posts messages that tell you "My girlfriend/wife also..." Because each woman is different and no matter how long we live with them, they will still surprise us with some undiscovered side of their character. What works with someone else's girlfriend/wife will not work with yours.

Next, consider the following:

1. Did she ask you to do it? If 'yes' then you're screwed. It does not matter whether she did it because her brother asked her, you're still screwed
2. Did you express your reservations? If 'yes' then you're screwed. It does not matter whether she said it was 'ok' or that she 'understands', you're still screwed
3. Do you hope to settle down with her? If 'yes' then you're screwed. It does not matter whether she knows her family is weird, you're still screwed

On a more serious note, how many brothers/sisters does your girlfriend have? If he's the only one, then it isn't much of an issue, just do it. Weigh the advantages against the disadvantages...

Advantages

• You make her happy
• You make her brother happy
• You make her parents happy
• You score brownie points
• You won't have to sit through a lousy dinner feeling awkward at the main table
• You gain experience (wedding/event shoot and dealing with an asshole)
• You get closer to having a private model for "glamour" photography :bsmilie:

Disadvantages

• You make her brother happy (yes, it is also a disadvantage)
• You don't get to satisfy your sense of fairness (is it all that important)
• You become a potential source of cheap/free event photography and lose your self-respect (this is a non-issue if your profession isn't photography)

However, if she has enough young, unmarried releatives to form a village, then excuse yourself with one of the many excuses posted in this thread.

If your reluctance to shoot however, comes from a fear of mucking up the shoot, then explain it to him (not to your girlfriend) and gauge his reactions. If you do it carefully, you could scare him enough to hire a photographer. On the other hand, if he is a former Fear Factor champion, then just do it for him for the reasons I mentioned above.

_

Wah....don't know what to say....

 

[jOhO]

so how wat's the verdict?

just so i know when i get into that position ahahhaa..

somehow, i enjoy my singlehood. :bsmilie:

 

[palvin]

I was in the same situation as u a few months back.

But there is a little difference, my gf's bro is a nice bloke.(though a bit stingy)
I helped him, when he asked mi.
I din expect much in return.

In the end:
1) i got a gd angbao.
2) a few offers to shoot his friends and relatives next yr(paid of coz!).
3) the chance to mingle around with all my future relatives of the in-laws. (it's ez when u r the photographer)
4) he agreed to let mi use his pics as portfolio.
5) a tremendous sense of satisfaction when a famili matter goes well.

To mi, i find it's worth it if ur future bro in law is nice and appreciative of ur efforts.

If i were in your shoes, i would shoot for him too. But my gf's bro is those that is hard to part his money with. Don't think he will give me good ang pow.
And talking about appreciation, my gf's bro's wife said "thank you" to me without looking at me but looked on the floor instead, when i took their ROM pics for free! :angry:

 

[palvin]

Tough situation.

Are those in your gallery paid jobs?

Regards,
tltan

Nope. Those paid ones are not posted in my gallery. And i did not really take wedding photos as my profession but charge people only through recommendations. Hence i did not have much wedding photos experience.

 

[palvin]

perhaps can tell your gf to quote him the market price then. tell him your price of your DSLR for a start.

I'll take your advice on this! Hope i won't make mistakes if i ever get to take wedding photos for him.

Thanks for your advice!

 

[palvin]

Marriage is once & if a person want to save cost on photo taking, then better don't get married.

:thumbsup:

 

[palvin]

"Gf's bro wanted my free service."

If your service is free, then what is the problem? :think:

Please don't play around with the words and contradict yourself with the titles.

 

[palvin]

Strange why everyone wants the threadstarter to screw up the shoot... Why not just tell him not to take the shoot. I can just imagine all hell breaking loose when his gf brother finds out that the photos are all crap. I dont think his gf is going to be smiling.....

Yah, why so many pple want me to screw up ah?

 

[Andy Ang]

Ok, somehow your words enlightened me. Everyman must have their own stand right? Even if i'm faced with someone so called "VIP", i shall live according to my likings.

Not really living to your likings, but living and sticking to what you firmly believes is right, then your girl will look up to you.

EXAMPLE (Pls, only example):
You like prostitutes, you stick to your believe and visits them. Then you can go and die.
You thinks that you would want to save money and scrape this year's holiday plan and stay in Singapore / Malaysia instead of going to say, Korea. So that you can have a emergency savings. Stick by it.
Most probably your girl will throw a tantrum saying that you don't love her, if you give in then, she thinks that you are a wimp. However, if you stick to your decision, which is a GOOD DECISION, she actually looks up to you. She will feel protected. Which is exactly what she wants.
:embrass:

 

[Belle&Sebastain]

i have a better idea, why not email him a few photogs that you admire, and tell him that you spend effort finding a photographer for him?

 

[Robertbe]

Tell him you have just STOP photographing for now.... may be next yr. you will start back lah... this will buy you enough time for u not to shoot for his wedding.

Go to the dinner and enjoy the food and pass him the red packet. End it there and then.
Taking photos for relative is not as easy as one thinks cos. after the shoot we need to face lots and lots of comments and special request too. and once done free and if you got lots of other relative going to get married then GOOD LUCK to you bro... ha ha . so what i suggest is that go to the dinner and enjoy the food and pass him the money .

And if you dont want him to forget you then in side the red packet put $8 instead of $80 ha ha ha sure he will remember you for life...


Robert Bleeme

 

[fotoudavid]

just shoot and end the whole thing.