Maybe I am demanding too much from my lens, the lens hunt under low light when I am indoor or at night. I do not like to use flash as natural mood lighting is always my preferred source.
My daughter is coming to 2 years old, you can browse my Flickr album (link @ my signature). I believe I have captured a great amount of photos but at the same time losing quite a number of them when the camera starts to search. Playing and getting my daughter's attention is not that bad for me and in fact I prefer to shoot the journalistic way to document my daughter's daily life, so will try not to bother her so much.
Was about to jump boat to get get a 5D MKII but my $$$ went to my new Apple iMac in the end coz my old age laptop failed on me. Now I am happily having a powerful iMac to edit my videos and photos of my daughter.

So gotta start saving again for the camera but meanwhile I am not sure if I should get a better lens to prolong the life of the 400D.
Bear, I understand where you are coming from as my mum takes care of my niece and I like to capture her in her most natural way, without any camera flash disturbing that. Let me share with you my experience and maybe you can decide from there ?
I used to be using a 40D + 17-55 f2.8 IS USM. And recently I got a 5D + 24-105mm f4 IS USM.
- 40D + 17-55 f2.8 IS USM ( random focus pt ) hunting / focusing is fast. No question about it.
- 5D + 24-105mm f4 IS USM ( random focus pt ) hunting / focusing is slower than the 40D combination due the the body and f2.8 and f4 lens.
24-105mm hunts slow on my 5D compared to 40D ( random focus pt ) .
So you see, fast or slow focusing, depends on both body and lens.
For you I would say a XX D body + 17-55mm f2.8 IS USM is a very good combination for capturing your daughter's fast movements and without using flash. Of course, there will be times that you feel f2.8 is also not fast enough.
If I am like shooting 80% of my photos, on my niece, I would still stick to XX D body and my workhorse 17-55mm which is like on the 40D for 95% of the time.
And among the 40D , 50D and 60D, I will still stick to my 40D as I see no significant improvement in the 50 or 60D. They are good to have, but not going to help me take a better photo of my niece. 40D 2nd hand will be the best value for $$ XX D body for me . The savings from getting a 40D over the 50 or 60D can contribute to getting the 17-55, both 2nd hand , you shld be able to get the combi at around 2k in CS B & S
But since I am beginning to shoot more of landscape, thats why i switch to 5D.
When I have my own children in a few yrs time, I may get back the XX D + 17-55mm combi as a 2nd body, when my career is more successful later on in life .
Hope my sharing of my experience helps you to make your decision..