Who is more important?

[arpinkor]

So, the old question, wife or mother.
Me, I will choose wife over mother. Call me unfilial if you will, but my wife is the mother of our children and my life partner. If my own children chose their spouses over me, I will be happy for them too. The future generation must come first.

 

[Del_CtrlnoAlt]

So, the old question, wife or mother.
Me, I will choose wife over mother. Call me unfilial if you will, but my wife is the mother of our children and my life partner. If my own children chose their spouses over me, I will be happy for them too. The future generation must come first.

wat if no kids?

 

[arpinkor]

wat if no kids?

Now no have but later have lah :bsmilie:
Answer still remains the same.

 

[Deadpoet]

So, the old question, wife or mother.
Me, I will choose wife over mother. Call me unfilial if you will, but my wife is the mother of our children and my life partner. If my own children chose their spouses over me, I will be happy for them too. The future generation must come first.

Now no have but later have lah :bsmilie:
Answer still remains the same.

arpinkor, your words are a voice of reason.

 

[arielmermaid]

I think everyone is impt. Relationships, Kinships.. hw to gauge.. no way.. Love is what made u up right.. We're Humans, not aliens

 

[Canonised]

If my own children chose their spouses over me, I will be happy for them too. The future generation must come first.

This is the second view of thought .... this group, will do anything for the future generation, and choose over the new than to reconcile with the past. They will impart such behaviour to the future generation that they should look after their own future generation......
Now the question is, who should look after the older generations, .... society, family, individual, etc.... ? :think:
Personally, I would still prefer to instil in my children that they should always look after the older generations.... maybe i am just old-fashioned.:dunno:

 

[synapseman]

Wife comes first.

 

[zeith]

remember to tell your wife to be this is you will.

also, remember not to be angry with your brother in law and son in law when they choose to let your sister and daughter drown.

no.. i won't be angry if they choose to save their mom first..

for me, my parents are the most important persons in my life.. they scaled lots of hardships in their life to make whom i am today..

different ppl ,different opinions..

 

[Deadpoet]

no.. i won't be angry if they choose to save their mom first..

for me, my parents are the most important persons in my life.. they scaled lots of hardships in their life to make whom i am today..

different ppl ,different opinions..

are you married? I assume so.

if yes, why did you even get married if your wife is not the most importatn person in your life!

stay home and be a ma ma boy .... if that is how you think.

I absolutely agree that our parents have done alot to prepare us for the world and the future. The future is with your wife, not your mother.

 

[zeith]

are you married? I assume so.

if yes, why did you even get married if your wife is not the most importatn person in your life!

stay home and be a ma ma boy .... if that is how you think.

I absolutely agree that our parents have done alot to prepare us for the world and the future. The future is with your wife, not your mother.

is there any rule saying that you can't marry a person if he/she is not the most important person in your life? :sticktong

be a ma ma boy is nothing to do with the situation stated by jsbn.. it's a critical situation where you have to make a big decision.. from my understanding, ma ma boy is the person, who listen to their mom all the time even for an unimportant decision.. :bsmilie:

btw, please don't make assumptions..

 

[Canonised]

are you married? I assume so.

if yes, why did you even get married if your wife is not the most importatn person in your life!

stay home and be a ma ma boy .... if that is how you think.

I absolutely agree that our parents have done alot to prepare us for the world and the future. The future is with your wife, not your mother.

I do not agree with your thinking in this respect.
Our parents have done a lot for most of us, and logically they have only a limited time left when we are ready to getting a wife. Now, this wife-to-be ..... how much do we know her? ... how much is she going to sacrifice her interest for me, for our family, for our children, etc...? Compare to our mum? It will take a long time before we can conclude that we are really impt in her life too. Until such time, most of our parents may be gone.
Of course this conclusion is on a case to case situation.
But in my case, I would still place my parents on top and until such time when they are gone, my wife will always be second place in my heart. :sweat:
BTW, always remember that a tree grows well in the future is because of what were done in the past ...... always remember and appreciate.....:think:

 

[zeith]

I do not agree with your thinking in this respect.
Our parents have done a lot for most of us, and logically they have only a limited time left when we are ready to getting a wife. Now, this wife-to-be ..... how much do we know her? ... how much is she going to sacrifice her interest for me, for our family, for our children, etc...? Compare to our mum? It will take a long time before we can conclude that we are really impt in her life too. Until such time, most of our parents may be gone.
Of course this conclusion is on a case to case situation.
But in my case, I would still place my parents on top and until such time when they are gone, my wife will always be second place in my heart. :sweat:
BTW, always remember that a tree grows well in the future is because of what were done in the past ...... always remember and appreciate.....:think:

well said..

 

[Deadpoet]

Guess what guys, I am havig a cup of tea with my mother in her kitchen right now. I posed the same question to her.

Her words. Children has the responsibility to take care of their parents, but the most important people is and should be his/hers wife/husband.

Her words. Why enter into a lifelong union if that person is not the most important person in your life.

 

[FrogLAH]

why can't all be equally important in their own way leh?

 

[Deadpoet]

why can't all be equally important in their own way leh?

You probably have a point, but my question was "Who is more important?"

You spouse and your parents, both very important people in your life, but push come to shove, who is more important?

 

[Stereobox]

what if someone married his own mother?

haha ok this is not helping at all.

a thought-provoking thread, upz for DP.

 

[Canonised]

Guess what guys, I am havig a cup of tea with my mother in her kitchen right now. I posed the same question to her.

Her words. Children has the responsibility to take care of their parents, but the most important people is and should be his/hers wife/husband.

Her words. Why enter into a lifelong union if that person is not the most important person in your life.

This is why I said, "Parents should be the most important persons in one's life".... parents, i mean that include the in-laws as well.

Let me share my views ....
If my wife really places me very impt in her life, she would respect my choice and appreciate the reasons. If a woman who does not place her own parents highly, I would definately not want her to be my wife, and that's because how can she place me higher than her parents when she knew me juz for a short time compare to her parents.

Maybe a lot of the younger gen here will not agree with my view, but i ask myself, which is the greatest love one will receive in our lifetime? .... the answer is not gf's love, or wife's love, or any other love but simply "Mother's Love".

Get married, live together a couple of decade together but watch your wife ..... ultimately her true love will be given to her children and not as you may think, her husband.
Your mum said the above, because she wanted to sacrifice herself (who doesnt want to be acknowledged?) and rather you place yr wife to be more impt than herself. Isn't that a truely great self-sacrifice on her?

Guys, take my words ..... love your wife because she is a part of you but you cant place yourself above your parents, can you? :think:

 

[azul123]

Mothers will only want what's best for their children, ask 100 mothers 101 will say the above answers... they are already old.. better you take care of your wife and children they all depend on you... etc.. etc..

Because to mother's their children is their life. They will defend and protect their children regardless, if there is a limb or organ to be donated, there will be no hesitation from her to donate hers if it could be done.

Wife will probably be with you in good times... most marriages have not really been tested, I've seen some marriages break down over the smallest issue, wonder how when a true trial comes along or when money runs out and wife would have to be sole bread winner, for how long will she tolerate before she starts nagging, "hopeless man, better I wear the pants in the house" etc.. etc..

Now the question here is who is most important to you, so some says their wife and some their mothers, different people different life experiences, upbringing, life challenges/struggles.

So I won't be surprise with the answer given here, also different age group/religous background may have answered differently.

My 2 cents.

../azul123

 

[Canonised]

Why enter into a lifelong union if that person is not the most important person in your life.

When you go to a certain school, how do you know that is the best right school? When you start with a company, you are thinking that it is going to be the most impt co in your life?... WHen you get married, you really think that that person is going to be the most impt person in yr life? .... THINK....
Well, for our parents, if they have been logical and unselfish, they would definately have taught and given good bringing up messages to their children and I am sure, the bond will definately be strong.
To me, to get a good wife, the most impt factor one should consider is how well she treats her parents and all those old folks, whether related to her or not, and not how well or special she treats me :think:

 

[Deadpoet]

When you go to a certain school, how do you know that is the best right school? When you start with a company, you are thinking that it is going to be the most impt co in your life?... WHen you get married, you really think that that person is going to be the most impt person in yr life? .... THINK....
Well, for our parents, if they have been logical and unselfish, they would definately have taught and given good bringing up messages to their children and I am sure, the bond will definately be strong.
To me, to get a good wife, the most impt factor one should consider is how well she treats her parents and all those old folks, whether related to her or not, and not how well or special she treats me :think:

We will never be able to agree on this one, our backgrounds and up bringing are just too different.

However, one is backward looking adn one is for the future.