wEigHT LoSs CAfE
- Thread starter Haze
- Start date
- Status
since i don't eat lunch, send this to you ppl to have a good time after lunch.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After
a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and
answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When
she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbor.
Before she could say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
$800 to drop that towel that you have on."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the
woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her
husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about
the $800 he owes me?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sales representative, an administration clerk, and
the manager are walking to lunch when they find an
antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in
a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so
I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to
be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world." Poof! She's gone.
>
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales
rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach
with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina
coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, "I want those two back in the office
right after lunch."
>
> Moral of the story:
> Always let your boss have the first say.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also
sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and
rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the
rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story:
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
> very, very high up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After
a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and
answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When
she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbor.
Before she could say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
$800 to drop that towel that you have on."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the
woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her
husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about
the $800 he owes me?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sales representative, an administration clerk, and
the manager are walking to lunch when they find an
antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in
a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so
I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to
be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world." Poof! She's gone.
>
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales
rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach
with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina
coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, "I want those two back in the office
right after lunch."
>
> Moral of the story:
> Always let your boss have the first say.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also
sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and
rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the
rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story:
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
> very, very high up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the
top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
the turkey out of the tree.
>
> Moral of the story:
> Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
> you there.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
> of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which
he accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest
had a look and nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.
He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear,
he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologized, "Sorry, Sister, but
the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a
meaningful glance and went on her way.
Upon his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It said, "Go
forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
> Moral of the story:
> If you are not well informed in your job, you might
> miss a great opportunity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope you ppl enjoy the moral of the story.:lovegrin:
able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the
top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
the turkey out of the tree.
>
> Moral of the story:
> Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
> you there.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
> of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which
he accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest
had a look and nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.
He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear,
he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologized, "Sorry, Sister, but
the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a
meaningful glance and went on her way.
Upon his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It said, "Go
forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
> Moral of the story:
> If you are not well informed in your job, you might
> miss a great opportunity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope you ppl enjoy the moral of the story.:lovegrin:
Del_CtrlnoAlt
Senior Member
Drudkh said:
64bit ar?
madmacs said:i didnt say anything bad about HER favourite leh :dunno:
oh...but i do get assaulted by her quite regularly
Any Pooh must be cute. Tat y as long as u say any type of Pooh nt cute means cannt loh! My Avatar Pooh is a Korean Pooh. I got tis pic in Korea Bear museum. :bsmilie: Hahaha......... :bsmilie: :bsmilie: She must b veri cute!
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