Top Ten Photography Tips <-- Joke Version

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Staff member
Jan 17, 2002
see this at dpreview ... enjoy it

10.Your mother thinks everything you do is great. Unless your mother is Margaret Bourke-White, find someone else to do critical analysis of your photos.

9.Somewhere on this planet, someone has taken an interesting photo of a duck. It probably wasn’t you.

8.Nudes are the easiest thing in the world to shoot poorly, and the hardest thing in the world to shoot well. Learn to take good photos of people with their clothes on before worrying about shooting them nude.

7.You’ve got too much dead space in your photographs. If it isn’t essential to the composition, crop it out.

6.It probably isn’t your equipments fault. But it might be.

5.Take your camera with you. True story: I worked for a small newspaper, and was acknowledged by all on the staff to be the best photographer there. I went to the store one day, just a few blocks away, and left my equipment at home. When I looked out across a field, I saw a tornado heading for the high school gym. By the time I got home and got my gear, the tornado had taken the roof off the gym and dissipated. A little old lady that worked at the paper took a photo of the tornado with a 35mm point and shoot camera. She won photo of the year (statewide) with it.

4.Don’t take the same photograph over and over. Experiment a little.

3.If you take a great photograph, admire it, brag about it, and then put it away. You should be a lot more concerned with your next photograph than your last one.

2.Learn to focus. You can correct a lot of things in post-processing, but you can’t make an out-of focus photograph come into focus.

1.This story’s been told about a zillion different conductors, but I’ll tell it about Leonard Bernstein. He was standing on a curb in New York City, when a young man, who didn’t know who he was, asked him how to get to the Metropolitan Opera House. Bernstein pointed his finger straight at his nose and said “Practice!”

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