Single and staying with your parent

[ghost77]

U have been born, bred and lived with ur parents for like... the past 20yrs (?) and u tell me that u can't stand them for what u'd lived with for the past 20yrs? :bigeyes:

*clap-clap-clap*

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to u the Latest Generation of Young Singaporeans!

How old do you think I am? I am 41 years old this year.

 

[kitkat]

"At least you have a mom who still cooks."

thumbsup:

I agree,

My mom always when I am young , say no one will care for their children as much as mother. How true it is ~ .

I miss her cooked food tremondously when I am staying oversea. Her constant nagging seem to be to me like "words of praise" . It is the warmth (of parental love) that is badly missed.

 

[jsbn]

It is easy to say then done.:cry:
I love my parent very much and I was hoping that they can show some understand and Of cos I will not want to lose anyone that I loved most.:cry:

Well, touchy huh?
Heard of the saying, "Mind over Matter?"

If u love them, their habits matter not. After all, how many more years do they have on Planet Earth? Assuming u're 38yrs old now, what is even the remote possibility that ur parents will outlive u assuming that they are 70yrs old now? The most, another decade or 2 or even 3 decades max.

As for ur efforts in cleaning up, I'm sure ur parents will realise that u're trying to make the environment better for them one day. Action speaks louder den words always. Do more, talk less.

 

[Haze]

Well, the house is belonged to me and they are staying with me.
I am the owner of the house. Both of them are not working and I gave them money to spend monthly.
One of them smoke in the house and I always take in the second-hand smoke, I have no choice that I have to tell them off.
The other one likes to keep all the old stuff and never bother to keep them in place and letting the cockroach and lizard to breed.
Every year of this time, I always have to do the house cleaning. I have been doing this for years and this thing keeps on happening the same over the years.
For example, last night after I finished my work, went home and cleaned the kitchen until 11pm. I went to sleep very very tired. Today early in the morning at 5am I heard my father walking in and out of the house watering the plant. I walked out and saw the flower pot are flooding with water. This is wasting of water and killing the plant.
I just washed away those green green thing that grown below the flower pot two days ago and I have to use a lot of strength to scrap away the stubborn stain. In fact, those plant on the flower pot are all dead but my mother disagree to throw them away.
Do you thing i am being unfilial if I shouted are them?

;o.. to be frank.. last time i shout at my mum too when she brought cat home. I scare of cat. Infact, i always talk loud to my mum. Dun know leh she talk very loud.. so in response i talk loud too. Nowaday, i tried to breath deeply before i respond.
may i know how old are u.
why not throw away the plant
my mum is different from urs.. she love TIDY, cleaniness, neat. When she see my things hanging around will just throw away or put somewhere she cannot see.

 

[ghost77]

Well, touchy huh?
Heard of the saying, "Mind over Matter?"

If u love them, their habits matter not. After all, how many more years do they have on Planet Earth? Assuming u're 38yrs old now, what is even the remote possibility that ur parents will outlive u assuming that they are 70yrs old now? The most, another decade or 2 or even 3 decades max.

As for ur efforts in cleaning up, I'm sure ur parents will realise that u're trying to make the environment better for them one day. Action speaks louder den words always. Do more, talk less.

Thanks. That's what I am doing now. Do more and talk sometime when I am fustrated. Hope they understand me one day.

 

[Haze]

It is easy to say then done.:cry:
I love my parent very much and I was hoping that they can show some understand and Of cos I will not want to lose anyone that I loved most.:cry:

Will that because they are bore at home? How about every week try to bring them out to eat and walk. Then talk nicely and see if works?

 

[Stereobox]

Thanks. That's what I am doing now. Do more and talk sometime when I am fustrated. Hope they understand me one day.

hey, we are always here if you need to just talk , ghost77

 

[eikin]

usually shouting and scolding don't work for elder people, what you need is really ALOT ALOT ALOT of patience. i haven't got any problems with my parents, but i learnt that when i volunteered at an old folks home many many years back

 

[Haze]

i'm living with both my maternal grandparents. i adore them becos as the Chinese saying goes, Jia You Yi Lao, Lu You Yi Bao

Old people are like that lor, they have their own habits that they dont realise that, aint that hygienic or good. i think you could engage a part time housekeeper (once a week) to keep your house in order. your parents already old, wat to do? staying with parents dont mean just feeding 'em. it also means you have to take care of their emotion and physical needs as well.

Dont forget, we'll grow old ourselves and i dont know about you, but i want my children to accept me the way i am. means they have to tolerate me, vice versa :sweatsm:

aiyah dont say old people lah.. even married couples have problems, adjusting to each other's 'irritating' habits. you just have to be tolerant, unless you prefer sending them to old folks' home?

Gee.. furry points is quite true. imagine take this as a challenge if you can survive this.. ur future married life is no a problem .. enage a part time house keeper..
my friend enage that.. every sunday go to her house.. clean 2 hrs.. pay $25 if i am not wrong

 

[ghost77]

Will that because they are bore at home? How about every week try to bring them out to eat and walk. Then talk nicely and see if works?

Every weekend I accompany them most of the time and I always bring them out for lunch and dinner. I have always wanted them to have a good life and I wanted them to be happy all the time. Everytime when they fall sick and called me over my work, I will rush back home from work and bring them to see the doctor.

 

[soma]

Well, the house is belonged to me and they are staying with me.
I am the owner of the house. Both of them are not working and I gave them money to spend monthly.
One of them smoke in the house and I always take in the second-hand smoke, I have no choice that I have to tell them off.
The other one likes to keep all the old stuff and never bother to keep them in place and letting the cockroach and lizard to breed.
Every year of this time, I always have to do the house cleaning. I have been doing this for years and this thing keeps on happening the same over the years.
For example, last night after I finished my work, went home and cleaned the kitchen until 11pm. I went to sleep very very tired. Today early in the morning at 5am I heard my father walking in and out of the house watering the plant. I walked out and saw the flower pot are flooding with water. This is wasting of water and killing the plant.
I just washed away those green green thing that grown below the flower pot two days ago and I have to use a lot of strength to scrap away the stubborn stain. In fact, those plant on the flower pot are all dead but my mother disagree to throw them away.
Do you thing i am being unfilial if I shouted are them?

Harlow.. need to kok you head liao..
Remember when you young and keep screaming at night for nothing, it's your parents the one attending to you.
You must give them your hand the same way they did for you when you give your first step, you must not feel sad, angry or impotent for seeing them near you, try to understand them and help them as they did it when you started living.
Be glad you still have your parents near you.:thumbsup:

 

[Haze]

Every weekend I accompany them most of the time and I always bring them out for lunch and dinner. I have always wanted them to have a good life and I wanted them to be happy all the time. Everytime when they fall sick and called me over my work, I will rush back home from work and bring them to see the doctor.

Wow that's very nice of you.. so nice.. really i mean it..
one year.. i bring my mum out not more then 6 times nian :embrass:
i think get a cleaner during weekend will solve ur problem.

ask ur dad smoke outside the house .. is that ok?

 

[Nisa]

okie... it's not THAT bad yet.

your parent's smoking? does he/she have a regular doc he/she goes to?
just ask the doc to tell him/her that he/she needs to stop smoking,
in order to live longer or be more healthy. That's what i did
for my grand pa who doesn't do his excises.

And the watering of plants? i know it's going to sound a bit bad....
but then you can accidently knock into it and make sure it falls into pieces
in the right direction.....

And if need help cleaning? i think you should just take the suggestion, and get a part time cleaner.... that would take a bit of work off u.

 

[ghost77]

Harlow.. need to kok you head liao..
Remember when you young and keep screaming at night for nothing, it's your parents the one attending to you.
You must give them your hand the same way they did for you when you give your first step, you must not feel sad, angry or impotent for seeing them near you, try to understand them and help them as they did it when you started living.
Be glad you still have your parents near you.:thumbsup:

I am sure someone going to kok my head on this when I decided to send this message across. I know where I stand and I know the things that I am doing.

 

[jsbn]

Thanks. That's what I am doing now. Do more and talk sometime when I am fustrated. Hope they understand me one day.

Well, the thing is not to put ur tone across that would appear to be condescending to them.

Keep tellin' urself, "They are my parents."

It'll get u by anything regardless ur age.

 

[ghost77]

Wow that's very nice of you.. so nice.. really i mean it..
one year.. i bring my mum out not more then 6 times nian :embrass:
i think get a cleaner during weekend will solve ur problem.

ask ur dad smoke outside the house .. is that ok?

Thanks. I will have to clean the house myself. It is too costly for me to ask for cleaner. I am just a technician who earn not that much.
BTW, it is my mum who smoke.

 

[Haze]

okie... it's not THAT bad yet.

your parent's smoking? does he/she have a regular doc he/she goes to?
just ask the doc to tell him/her that he/she needs to stop smoking,
in order to live longer or be more healthy. That's what i did
for my grand pa who doesn't do his excises.

And the watering of plants? i know it's going to sound a bit bad....
but then you can accidently knock into it and make sure it falls into pieces
in the right direction.....

And if need help cleaning? i think you should just take the suggestion, and get a part time cleaner.... that would take a bit of work off u.

I like ur ideas :bsmilie:

how about get a vistor to your house. Get her to comment wow your house so smoky. Wow ur house so dirty. How come ur house so many pest. How come u can stand to stay here..
the plant so dirty

 

[Funny]

Yeah! I agree wif most of ppl here! Parents r the 1 who brought us up! When we were babies, they took care of us w/o any complains. No matter how troublesome we r! Parents r the ones who will always stand by us loh! Their giving is really boundless loh.

When I moved out n hav my own pl, I really start to appreciate my Mum n my Dad! They r always so understanding! I kind of miss them oso. So I will always try to visit them or make phone calls back hm.

B4 I move out, I often get into argument wif my mum. Often had this thought, "If I dun be staying wif them, there will be less argument n I dun be so unhappy abt it!" But after I move out is different liao! Living together tend to have argument n displeasures. Have to give n take loh! We oso hav to appreciate ur partners' mums n dads. Is their parents who brought them up! Jia he wan shi xing! Wan anything to be successful irregardless of career n etc oso start fr within..... is fr hm.

Asian r always veri reserve in displaying their emotion. I wll feel awkward, like hugging them or saying I luv u, mum or Dad! Hope one day I will have the courage to do tat! Heehehee.....

 

[ghost77]

Well, the thing is not to put ur tone across that would appear to be condescending to them.

Keep tellin' urself, "They are my parents."

It'll get u by anything regardless ur age.

Maybe you can share your experience with me. Do your parents staying with you? Do you do all these housework all the time?

 

[Haze]

Thanks. I will have to clean the house myself. It is too costly for me to ask for cleaner. I am just a technician who earn not that much.
BTW, it is my mum who smoke.

cut away $25 from their weekly allowance :embrass: