Don't have to feel sorry lah. Just keep in mind that good equipments not necessary = good pictures. It will help in certain aspects such as reproduction. But not when the photographer do not understand and have good control over the equipment. Ultimately, it's more important you know what u want to acheive in your photographic concept or vision and use the right tool to help you get the feel or effect you want. Spend time understanding what textural quality does trans offers compared to digital medium. Different toy instruments compared with professional equipments. 35mm compared to 120, and large formats if you can.
Frankly, I don't own much equipments other than a manual 35mm for almost 6 years of my life as a photographer. I only just bought a D2X recently. For rest of the time, I just rent or borrow my equipments. And very much still do so today. It's not the camera that create impressive portfolio. It's the pictures.