tell him that some fengshui master said it will be very bad for his fortune if u take for him. :bsmilie:
Gf's bro wanted my free service.
- Thread starter palvin
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Don't bother giving excuses. No one will believe you. Analyse the situation carefully and calculate your own risks. If you don't take the pictures, you might offend her bro and your gf. But if your gf has a sense of fairness and cares about your integrity, she should be supporting you instead of allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. Let your gf knows your decision that you want to help her bro to take pictures but at the same time, also let her know about your feelings. If she still happily encourage you to help her bro, you will know better what kind of person your gf is. To know your gf's heart is far more important than helping her bro to take for free in my own personal opinion. It doesn't matter if the pics turn out good or bad, what matters most is to know your gf is on whose side.
Yea. Thats my thoughts too! Cos he too calculative with my gf until my respect for him is decreasing. I wanted to be calculative with him too but he was the one who ask his sister to approach me and not approach me directly.
I gave my gf a piece of my thoughts upon knowing her bro's request and it seems like my gf is a little disappointed although she said its ok if i don't take pics for him.
TS, u and him, i think no more than stranger ...
How bout your gf then? How does she think? If u can share your thought with her, i think that would much be better than seeking advice from ... strangers like us here...
How about talk to her tactfully first ..
what she thinks and maybe other family members think might be more important (to you, of course) than what we think here ... if that is not the case than period from me
Just one thought from me: the fact that he wanted to shoot with a PnS just make it very obvious that he has next to zero knowledge on photography and little to nothing on appreciation of ROM's photos (of his own). So if he know you want to charge then we'll have the above story of water and blood n etc ...
Ha ha just realize my post contradicts with some above, just MHO, pls ...
How bout your gf then? How does she think? If u can share your thought with her, i think that would much be better than seeking advice from ... strangers like us here...
How about talk to her tactfully first ..
what she thinks and maybe other family members think might be more important (to you, of course) than what we think here ... if that is not the case than period from me Just one thought from me: the fact that he wanted to shoot with a PnS just make it very obvious that he has next to zero knowledge on photography and little to nothing on appreciation of ROM's photos (of his own). So if he know you want to charge then we'll have the above story of water and blood n etc ...
Ha ha just realize my post contradicts with some above, just MHO, pls ...
Option
1) Did he ever see ur portfolio b4 >? If not, quickly go take many OOF, under/over-exposed pics and send him the weblink. See if he still wants u.
2) Tell him politely u never take wedding b4 and ur skills may not up to his standards.
3) Resign to fate, just shoot for free for ur gf sake
1) Did he ever see ur portfolio b4 >? If not, quickly go take many OOF, under/over-exposed pics and send him the weblink. See if he still wants u.
2) Tell him politely u never take wedding b4 and ur skills may not up to his standards.
3) Resign to fate, just shoot for free for ur gf sake
You basically just don't feel like doing it, then don't do it. Just let him know that your skills are not up to the standards of those regular paid AD photographers and there is a high chance of you screwing things up. Then give some examples of your past "screw-ups" to strengthen your message and that he would be better off with a "paid AD photographer".
Try not to make such incident too overly complicated. You can better make use of your time to do more meaningful things. So, switch off your computer now, contact your Gf's Bro and get it over with.
:thumbsup: Thats a good one! But he is my potential bro-in-law leh. How?
In some ways, and depending on how much contact you and your future wife may have, the above statement says it all.
Besides the obvious that has been pointed out, sometimes, for 'family peace' we all have to do things we don't want to, or like.
But if your partner is in the opinion that you should not be taken advantage of, and is willing to rock the boat along with you, then it's your call.
Other than that, unless you use one of the suggestions mentioned by the others, or think of something, it looks like you're done for.
Another approach you could take is to ask him to at least pay for expenses. What was it Belle & Sebastian shared once? Show him this list:
transport cost.
meeting the clients needs time and money,
confirming and collecting the retainer/deposit cost time and money.
meeting a few days before the client's wedding cost time and money.
going down to cover the wedding needs time and money.
going home to rest in-between the festitivies cost time and money.
going back to the dinner venue cost time and money.
returning home from the long day cost time and money.
meeting your clients to deliver your work cost time and money.
that is just transport cost.
albums,
sample albums, sample prints, sample pictures, sample CDs
electicity costs
computers need power
cameras need power
flashes need power
electric bills are going up again.
hardware cost
cameras cost money
camera parts cost moeny
lenses cost money
lens hoods cost money
filters cost money
memony cards cost money
batteries cost money
flashes cost money
camera bags cost money
computers cost money
ram cost money
harddisk cost money
monitors cost money
mouse, keypads, card readers, cost money
extention cords cost money
tables and chairs that you sit to edit your photos cost money
going to buy these equipment cost time and money.
softcopy costs
photoshop cost money
software to enhance your pictures cost money
other photo editing. enchaning slideshow software cost money
anti-virus software cost money
internet cost money
real or fake software, also need money to buy.
bills
phonebills need to be paid
servers need to be paid
marketing tools need to be paid
salary needs to be paid
cost of sales
CDs need money
DVDs need money
covers need money
paper need money
ink need money
paperback need money
office?
rental bills, car bills, tables, chairs, lights, water, fridge etc........
albums,
sample albums, sample prints, sample pictures, sample CDs
IF all else fails, this is what a cab driver once shared with me (when dealing with difficult relatives). * This is not me or what I would use; I would most likely help, or say No outrightly.
1) Get pally with them. Basically, treat them nicely and gain their trust, or at least liking.
2) Call them up privately and say you need to meet to discuss something very important. Get that person to make time for you.
3) Meet up, and chit chat for awhile, and start stoking his ego saying that you really respect what he has achieved bla bla bla, and that you feel he is the only poerson who can help.
4) Ask to borrow 30K as you need to get some loansharks off your back.
Bro, I think there's some misunderstanding. During the day, you shoot that's fine.
BUT at the dinner hor... As you know the usual chinese wedding dinner sequence...
The AD photog WHERE GOT TIME TO SIT & EAT??? So he is NOT giving you a free meal.
Rather you give him an Ang Pow and sit down to eat man.
It depends on how u look at it.... does ur gf worth more than being a free AD and ang pow for his bro....
I will do it even i know im being exploited... all these just to put a smile on ur gf's face...why not?
Cheers!
I will do it even i know im being exploited... all these just to put a smile on ur gf's face...why not?
Cheers!
Aiya, go ahead and shoot for him la.
Since he WANTED you, haha...go shoot lor. Be his AD photographer and learn experience lor. Make sure you tell in advance you are not pro.
By the way...:think:
If you never shoot for him, he remembers for awhile.
If you shoot and photos BAD, he sees it forever!
Since he WANTED you, haha...go shoot lor. Be his AD photographer and learn experience lor. Make sure you tell in advance you are not pro.
By the way...:think:
If you never shoot for him, he remembers for awhile.
If you shoot and photos BAD, he sees it forever!
the perfect answer is: tell the truth and how u feel. as she is your gf, ultimately will be your wife who will share your life, you need to tell her how u really feel about it, be 100% open to her.
Also, your future bro-in-law, tell him the truth and dun cook up any excuse. It is not good for both of you if you are not feeling good when shooting - both the results, the inspiration, your mood, the relationship tension etc.
Then, think about the future, this free service may not be the last one. If you dun tell them how u feel, what about next shoot from another relative? Are you going to be the same and forced yourself to take bcos dun want to offend?
Also, your future bro-in-law, tell him the truth and dun cook up any excuse. It is not good for both of you if you are not feeling good when shooting - both the results, the inspiration, your mood, the relationship tension etc.
Then, think about the future, this free service may not be the last one. If you dun tell them how u feel, what about next shoot from another relative? Are you going to be the same and forced yourself to take bcos dun want to offend?
Its two side - Shoot so that in the future, you gf's family will accept you and not give you so much problems.
On the other side, don't shoot, because of your first post.
If I was you, I would shoot, but give the photos in a CD.
On the other side, don't shoot, because of your first post.
If I was you, I would shoot, but give the photos in a CD.
If you shoot just to make peace with your gf and her family, you will be forever be making peace. It will be never ending.
Your gf must understand you and must be on your side. If she is not, it's a good indication of things to come. I am assuming you and your gf are very close, and are contemplating a life together.
Your gf must understand you and must be on your side. If she is not, it's a good indication of things to come. I am assuming you and your gf are very close, and are contemplating a life together.
I say shoot. It could either be you or you hiring someone or you sharing the cost with your gf's friends to hire this fellow a photographer. Treat it as a gift.
or
you shoot, take the best shots but give him in CD.
He appreciates or not... We don't know but you've done your part and next time if this incident arises, you're clear.
or
pull him aside, talk to him nicely, then show him your cost of bill. everything! like mentioned above. ask him to how cover cost. But honestly... even if he pays you, i doubt it would be good and he'll increase his expectations.
So either you decline him persistently or some way or another, get his pictures done.
or
you shoot, take the best shots but give him in CD.
He appreciates or not... We don't know but you've done your part and next time if this incident arises, you're clear.
or
pull him aside, talk to him nicely, then show him your cost of bill. everything! like mentioned above. ask him to how cover cost. But honestly... even if he pays you, i doubt it would be good and he'll increase his expectations.
So either you decline him persistently or some way or another, get his pictures done.
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