EXPOSE Yourself - XIV

[maddyks]

5. Lack of visual appeal:
Time-dilated necrophilia, flaming relativistic ejaculation and penile black hole formation are all very dramatic, but unfortunately they don't translate well onto the big screen. In reality, relativistic sex would only last for a fraction of a second, and would appear as a sort of muddy grayish white smudge, since the eye merges all images together at such high speeds. This is probably not visually appealing enough to make a porn-at-the-speed-of-light series out of.

 

[maddyks]

4. Religious values:
Certain branches of Christianity would view porn-at-the-speed-of-light immoral anyway. It's in the Bible.

 

[maddyks]

3. Property damage:
A penis is made up of a collection of charged molecules, and accelerating charged molecules emit radiation. To accelerate charged penis molecules up to the speed of light in a single thrust requires enormous acceleration. This will produce a frequency and intensity of radiation similar to that produced by a small nuclear explosion. It may be worth hiring out a hotel room if you don't want your own room obliterated.

 

[maddyks]

2. Deafening sonic booms:
As a penis accelerates up to the speed of light, it will inevitably surpass the sound barrier, producing deafening sonic booms with every inward and outward thrust. If the neighbours haven’t already been woken by your moaning, they will be now. Or then again maybe not, because they will be conveniently deafened and unable to hear you.

 

[maddyks]

1. Excessive dietary requirements:
The amount of energy required to accelerate an average person up to 99% the speed of light for a single inward thrust is approximately equal to 16 million billion kilojoules. This is equivalent to the amount of energy gained by consuming 78 trillion weetbix. But 78 trillion weetbix will increase an average person’s mass by approximately 1.2 trillion kilograms, requiring them to eat even more weetbix just to accelerate this additional load up to the speed of light. Nine out of ten nutritionists may recommend weetbix, but this is slightly more than the recommended daily intake.

:sweatsm::sweatsm:

 

[adamadam]

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24216087-1246,00.html LAWL

 

[Dream Merchant]

HHAHAHAHAHAHA MANDY~!

Which of the light-speeds experiments have yu tried so far?

 

[maddyks]

HHAHAHAHAHAHA MANDY~!

Which of the light-speeds experiments have yu tried so far?

None... Does any of them say that the sex will be good? :sweat::sweat:

 

[Dream Merchant]

None... Does any of them say that the sex will be good? :sweat::sweat:

It doesn't matter. I thought yu were a man of science.

 

[edesign]

anybody want to go to comex together? or maybe we can go there for some shooting light?

 

[Dream Merchant]

anybody want to go to comex together? or maybe we can go there for some shooting light?

Go shoot scantily clad reptilian eyed, BBQ Skewers on eye lid XMMz ah? :devil:

 

[maddyks]

It doesn't matter. I thought yu were a man of science.

He he but the man of science is no Superman I ish wanting the sexy time to be good no?

anybody want to go to comex together? or maybe we can go there for some shooting light?

I'm planning to go there too, but not to shoot. When are you going?

 

[edesign]

Go shoot scantily clad reptilian eyed, BBQ Skewers on eye lid XMMz ah? :devil:

yup! wah! you're so smart! hope there are nice XMM on display.

 

[bovine]

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24216087-1246,00.html LAWL

What does he stand to benefit from lying?

 

[Dream Merchant]

THE BEST PLACES TO HAVE SEX & WHY

Hammock
The Standard Hammock is 2.5 metres long, and is woven from the finest cotton that easily holds the weight of two bodies. The specially-designed suspension system comes with built-in shock absorbers – so be as adventurous as you like! The hammock adapts to your shape and there’s enough room for a couple to lie crosswise, thereby reducing your chances of tipping over at the worst possible time. Call Zenpoint on (021) 462 1064 or check out www.zenpoint.co.za.

 

[edesign]

He he but the man of science is no Superman I ish wanting the sexy time to be good no?



I'm planning to go there too, but not to shoot. When are you going?

not sure though. might get a dry cabinet there. not sure yet.

 

[maddyks]

What does he stand to benefit from lying?

A following and fame to begin with. How many of us knew the late Prof. Randy Pausch before he was diagnosed with terminal illness?

 

[Dream Merchant]

Airline

There’s no need to try cramped bathroom sex when you’re flying business class on British Airways. Some planes feature ‘fully flat bed’ seats – which, as promised in the promotional material, will ‘allow you to get completely horizontal’. The seats are arranged in pairs so one person’s head is at another person’s feet. (Could this get any better?) Eventually, the seats will be available in the entire fleet, but they’re currently only on planes to and from New York. It’s as good a reason as any to travel, we think. For more information and reservations see www.britishairways.com. Please use the privacy screen.

 

[maddyks]

THE BEST PLACES TO HAVE SEX & WHY

Hammock
The Standard Hammock is 2.5 metres long, and is woven from the finest cotton that easily holds the weight of two bodies. The specially-designed suspension system comes with built-in shock absorbers – so be as adventurous as you like! The hammock adapts to your shape and there’s enough room for a couple to lie crosswise, thereby reducing your chances of tipping over at the worst possible time. Call Zenpoint on (021) 462 1064 or check out www.zenpoint.co.za.

Ha ha ha ha

 

[Dream Merchant]

Fitness equipment

Though we can think of several hundred kinky things to do with a calf-raise machine, our vote for the most sexual piece of fitness equipment is a large Swiss ball. Why? The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if you’re in the right position. Try this: sit on the ball and have her straddle you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do one set of at least 50 repetitions. Be courteous: wipe your sweat off the ball when you finish your set.