reachme2003
Senior Member
I recalled that joanna was the model. edwin? i would request you to raise it 'again' to assist me in my recollection.
A question to the admin.
- Thread starter student
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Same place for lunch? You mean that Nasi Padang store in Lucky Plaza? You mean that place where you, I, and Tan Keng Feng had lunch together?
On 29 December 2006, you had lugged the "things" all the way up to that Nasi Padang place?
Your logic baffles me.
No, we do not blame the admin and the government for disputes.
But the government also do not "wash" their hands off disputes. The government provides what is called arbitration, whether in simple counselling, nonlegal arbitration as well as legal avenues for disputes to be settled.
Here, I am not blaming the admin. What I saw was a desperate attempt by a member to get another member to return his keys and his momey. In his attempt to do so, he started a thread and wrote in the other person's thread - in order to get the attention.
But the admin did not allow this way of getting the other person's attention. Instead the admin advocated using phones and messages, which had apparently failed.
So I wrote to ask for solutions. There will be such things again in future. Is it not better to anticipitate such disputes, and have a forged workable solution?
With regards to personal disputes, our stance and practice has always been the same - to advise the parties to settle their issues offline (outside the forums via phone) or better still, in person face-to-face.
Earlier experiences have shown that online outbursts do not serve well to settle disputes as one person's point will be met with another person's counterpoint (or counterpoints) and since we will have no inkling as to what actually transpired between the two parties, we are not in a position to mediate or arbitrate the situation.
Worse still, there will be others chiming in, and what could have started as a two-person thing becomes a multi-cornered brawl.
In this case, as student has asked why we request this type of posts be settled offline, we have allowed this discussion to go on as it illustrates very well what we mean by points and counterpoints.
We will continue to do what we have done in the past (advise members to take issues offline) and there will not be a change in this practice.
Earlier experiences have shown that online outbursts do not serve well to settle disputes as one person's point will be met with another person's counterpoint (or counterpoints) and since we will have no inkling as to what actually transpired between the two parties, we are not in a position to mediate or arbitrate the situation.
Worse still, there will be others chiming in, and what could have started as a two-person thing becomes a multi-cornered brawl.
In this case, as student has asked why we request this type of posts be settled offline, we have allowed this discussion to go on as it illustrates very well what we mean by points and counterpoints.
We will continue to do what we have done in the past (advise members to take issues offline) and there will not be a change in this practice.
You method of resolving conflicts is not any better.
since you've mentioned arbitration are you requesting that the admins be the arbitrator and insists one of you to do something? What legal powers do the admins have to order anyone to "return" something. So your war is won based on your superior command of english? (Which I do spot mistakes, grammar and spelling, in your posts all the time.. just like how you can't spell your own address properly, in big bold fonts some more.)
Do us all a favour yah? stop creating these conflict resolution threads. It seems like you like all these attention to yourself? Have you ever thought that some of those reading these posts can be your clients/patients? Bobman has his side of the story it doesn't put his credibility any much lower than yours just because you can type very long essays.
You are starting to whine like one of those gov't bashers. There are a million-and-one things to anticipate. The admins have anticipated this issue and their stance (or solution to you) is to have it resolved offline personally. This is their solution. Your IQ might be high.. but your EQ is definitely inversely proportionate. I am starting to think if you're really that disconnected from the real world?
Anyway, here is the CS terms and conditions (emphasis my own):
read it here
Darren, your points are noted and appreciated. I agree fully with the general thrust of your intent.
What I had raised was a very specific problem which CS policies did not address. As far as I am aware, most people would prefer to take the route as you advocated.
However, the problem comes when one had tried many times to contact the other, without apparent success. Meaning they had done exactly what the admin had asked them to do. But without success. How could they meet when one cannot be contacted?
In such circumstances, is it unreasonable to resort to the open forum? This is the thrust of what I wish to clarify.
This is the sort of things that Darren wish not to see. Mindless arguments.
What I had asked is to look for solutions. It does not take anybody with a vestige of brain to know that the admin does not have executive powers to arbitrate.
If you care to read your own threads, you're always calling others juvenile , childish, mindless, etc.. maybe I cannot appreciate things on your level but it definitely doesn't leave a good impression of yourself. You always seem to be in the centre of many disputes, arguments and issues. :dunno: I wonder why :think: you're just so full of yourself and so pro-elitist.
I have never participated in any of your argument threads and hold nothing against you.
Let's hear your suggestion then. you have already mentioned in your post
So why not just take up one of those solutions and stop whining already. sheesh..
edit:
Anyway, I double darren's suggestion for all the involved parties to meet up and resolve the issue rather than posting "teacher-he-beat-me-first" and "no-he-hit-me-first" threads..
I have never participated in any of your argument threads and hold nothing against you.
Let's hear your suggestion then. you have already mentioned in your post
So why not just take up one of those solutions and stop whining already. sheesh..
edit:
Anyway, I double darren's suggestion for all the involved parties to meet up and resolve the issue rather than posting "teacher-he-beat-me-first" and "no-he-hit-me-first" threads..
student, with all due respect, you have mixed up our policies.
We discourage members from settling their private issues openly on the forum but there is nothing preventing Astin to try to get in touch with Bobman over the forum.
If Astin has posted a thread simply asking Bobman to contact him to settle some private issues without spilling out the details we would have left the thread alone...as long as it does not evolve into what this thread is right now.
Having said that, you should have noticed that Astin's thread was intially closed but not removed. The thread and other posts were only removed after Bobman has responded on the forum as well.
From that point I take it as the 3 of you have made contact and thus sent you the PM to request you to settle the issue in private. There was never any intent to prevent Astin to try to use the forum to get Bobman's attention.
Our policy of discouraging members to settle their private issues in private is unconditional, so it does not matter how many times Astin has tried but failed through other means of communication. We do not want to judge or make any assumptions about his efforts, and we do not want to get involved in anyway.
We discourage members from settling their private issues openly on the forum but there is nothing preventing Astin to try to get in touch with Bobman over the forum.
If Astin has posted a thread simply asking Bobman to contact him to settle some private issues without spilling out the details we would have left the thread alone...as long as it does not evolve into what this thread is right now.
Having said that, you should have noticed that Astin's thread was intially closed but not removed. The thread and other posts were only removed after Bobman has responded on the forum as well.
From that point I take it as the 3 of you have made contact and thus sent you the PM to request you to settle the issue in private. There was never any intent to prevent Astin to try to use the forum to get Bobman's attention.
Our policy of discouraging members to settle their private issues in private is unconditional, so it does not matter how many times Astin has tried but failed through other means of communication. We do not want to judge or make any assumptions about his efforts, and we do not want to get involved in anyway.
Roy. just a few comments and then I will not come back to look at this thread
#1
If you read my initial post, you will realise that what I did was to create a not unfamilar scenario. And of course, this was prompted mainly by Astin's frustrations. In actual fact, my post was as "generic" as possible, with no mention of names or pointing fingers at anyone. As I mentioned earlier, the threads were deleted so quickly that hardly anybody could have noticed them. But of course to those who are party to the scenario, we know what it was all about.
Nonetheless, this type of scenario had been played out several times in public. I had often wonder what I would do if I were the "aggrieved" party.
What could Astin have done? CS policy of members sorting out their problems in private is logical and totally reasonable. But I was talking about a situation that was not yet solved by the proposed mechanisms.
So I look for guidelines from the admin to deal with this
#2
You have now clarified that it is not wrong for one to post in public to draw attention to an issue - as long as lurid details are not played out as a soap opera (Ok, I am exaggerating a bit!).
Thank you!
#3
You mentioned that your policy is "unconditional". I am not sure I got you right. Perhaps you meant that the number of tries is "irrelevant". But there is of course a "limit" to patience. And when one has run out of patience and/time, then I take it that to write in public to draw attention is not inappropiate.
#4
You mentioned the "degeneration" of this thread. Please note that my initial post and the implications are known only to the parties concerned, with very few members aware of the situation.
The degeneration had a very specific reason.
#5
Bobman had returned my things in person. I had not checked them. But I take it in good faith that things are in order.
What had I contributed to the forum?
Really, you really want me to write my contributions?
But this thread is not the right one to boast about my contributions!
It will run into pages!
Maybe I might start a thread on this!
Sign out!
roy & student, I am in agreement of the forum policy and appreciate your understanding and support. I should have "worded" my original post to be in line with forum policy.
Student, since there is none, I shall only add you in my ignore list and whatever you write in the future, I won't be able to see. I hope you are a gentlemen enough not to write behind one's back. Should you need to find me, pm/sms/call me.....
You are now in my ignore list.....
Bye:cheergal:
You are now in my ignore list.....
Bye:cheergal:
i have no wish to interfere as a bystander to this thread but something disturbs me. have you deleted your previous posts in this thread or was there a server error?
Yes, I deleted what I said about Student. As there is nothing to do between him and me therefore there is no point to leave something behind which reminds of him.....
Anyway, he knows what I said is true or not. What I wrote in not important, a good lawyer who won the case doesn't mean his client is always right. Sometimes case are won not by facts but by 'shou duan', for the latter I cannot beat him........
satay16
Senior Member
no wonder. i was wondering why quotes of bobman appeared here and there. anyway, i really really really wish both of you wun be in cold war. it really spoils the whole mood in the forum. and ever since this forum became part of my life, my real physical mood is highly dependent on it too. it just doesn't make any people feel good seeing these threads.
can do me a small favour? when both of you settle this problem, can this thread be deleted(not locked)? it will be great if that's possible. thanks!
i just dun want to see this thread gets longer and accumulating more anger.wah so serious ah? take it easy man, it's just a forum
i spend a lot of time here too but that's cos i work at a computer all the time hahaha
sometimes it's hard to tell how we sound to other ppl. can see that happening all the time in this forum.
one of the great things about CS is that everyone comes from such different backgrounds. but i think that's also one of the reasons you get flamed so much lah. cos there are certain kinds of words or behaviour that may be perfectly fine in your own circle, but can trigger strong reactions in others.
but anyway, lets not OT this thread. i think it should die a quiet death now ;p
one of the great things about CS is that everyone comes from such different backgrounds. but i think that's also one of the reasons you get flamed so much lah. cos there are certain kinds of words or behaviour that may be perfectly fine in your own circle, but can trigger strong reactions in others.
but anyway, lets not OT this thread. i think it should die a quiet death now ;p
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