You need to consider the type of photography you are into. With that, you will choose the suitable lens for the purpose.
If you are into wedding/ event, prime lens will be good but at times, you might need the zooms. However, you do not need zooms that goes beyond 105mm; in view that IQ will be affected in certain ways. Read more on portraits, or wedding photography, so that you will understand more of the type of equipments required. Many of the replies will only general share their views but not making you understand.
With D3100 (without in-camera AF motor), choose those lenses that come with AF motor; otherwise you will be doing manual focusing all the times (unless you are good at it, though manual focus is essential to master). So find out which lens has AF motor, & compare which lens will help in your shooting; then make the decision to buy.
Do not buy it, just becoz someone tell you how good or fantastic the lens is. Don't get contract the 'buying' virus & then regret with it where you might decide to sell them in the next few days or month. It's not worth as the price will be depreciated which means you will suffer a loss.
So instead of making a loss, why not make good use of your kit lens till it's fullest before you venture to the next better lens. By then, you would have master the basic shooting skills.
If you have a better budget, get a relatively good flashgun (SB-600 & below) with either a prime like 35 f1.8, or 18-105 (at 105, sharpness for portraiture will be good). Since one of your options is for 18-200 (which cost about $1,100+), why not get something which gives you IQ instead. Read up more on the Nikkor lenses.
Keep your 18-55VR, you won't regret doing so (trust me...been there, done that).
The above recommendation is more suitable to use with D3100 due to it's small body & the need to use when shooting wedding/ event.
Well, I will share this much for now. Hope the above will help you better understand what you really need.
Happy snapping.