Really really short film about..

[walabee]

Really really short film about.. watch to find out.

One man crew with a four person cast. This one minute short film was shot in NTU over a day, and took me another day to edit.
Hope you enjoy!

Please leave down any comments on what you think, and how you think i can improve.

[video=youtube_share;0YsdLf4v7Rc]http://youtu.be/0YsdLf4v7Rc[/video]

 

[walabee]

No one? Anyone?

 

[Sgdevilzz]

First a taxi horned and then a bus appears? You need to establish the connection here. The audience might get confused. Very simple concept. Decent editing. The only part i felt unnecessary was the repeat turn around at 0:05.

 

[incubus]

not that bad, decent cuts here and there.
The initial part where the door was closed and the shot continued on to the foot path. the right arm is very awkward. A few inconsistencies here and there. first is the orientatation of the smiley face balloon. is it intentional for the smiley side to always face the camera? and making her turn around twice just dilutes the whole significance of it. U need to establish certain ideas better. where did that eye come from... whose eye was it. was she asleep/dreaming? and then as Sgdevilzz has pointed out, the confusing part about the taxi and bus

 

[walabee]

Yeah, its the little details that makes or breaks sometimes.

During the shoot, my idea was to use whatever car on the road available to me. Which i then had to camp on the spot and wait for the cars to pass by. But after shooting for a few hours, everyone got tired of waiting. So i just made use of whatever clips that i had, hoping that no one would notice this inconsistency. heh, oversight on my part.

And during the first POV scene of the girl closing the door, it was quite an awkward situation of me having to hug the talent from behind which resulted in me blocking her arm movement. lol, but i thought that added an eerie effect. BTW, the balloon had 2 sides to it, so its not really an inconsistency.

But one thing i have to disagree is about the eye/dreaming/slping part. As the story builds up, its kinda obvious whose eyes it belongs to. Somethings, you don't have to reveal straight away.

 

[walabee]

And thanks for the replies guys! Point taken and mistakes learnt. Sometimes you cannot just assume your audiences will oversee mistakes and understand your ideas!

 

[Headshotzx]

"Change"... is this for an NTU ADM application? Nice short there, just like what the others mentioned here, the repeat was weird, and the change of vehicles got me confused.

 

[walabee]

yup, application for NTU. If only i had a wide scene of a bus it wouldn't be that bad. But if you don't notice so much about the taxi, i think it actually flows quite well.

hopefully the panel at NTU doesn't care too much about it. really hope i can get in.

 

[Headshotzx]

Oh I see. What batch are you in? I'm thinking of going into NTU ADM too, just received my results (bad... did a short shoot-and-scoot docu video on it, view in the sub forum) and I have to wait till next year for application cause I'm going into NS next thurs and can't draw/make a "change" film in so short a time.

 

[walabee]

what batch? im not even in yet.. haha. but im applying for the 12/13 curriculum. Completed my NS few months back. ORD LOH! Good luck to you bro.

honestly, i did this short in a really really short time. i was thinking of a story for arnd 1 1/2 weeks. even so, the story and planning wasn't very complete and i just went ahead with it.

 

[wporchard]

Hello! I'm in ntu adm now! I saw a few of what you have done and it think they look quite good!
Anyway, I like some of the shoots that you used in your short film. Like the 2 shots of her walking and the camera was blocked slightly by the tree. I think there's really quite a nice composition to it. I think you might have to watch out for continuity errors. I think the one that was brought up was the taxi. Maybe you could try removing the taxi shot, but still keep the "horn" audio. Then you can straight away cut to the shot of her getting "banged by the bus".
I'm not too sure about my next comment but you can try it if you want. Instead of using the "faded" color scheme, why not try it as it was, with the normal colors. Also, you could try fast cuts in the dream sequence to make it more disorientated in a way. So once the dream sequence is over, and her eyes open, the audience will know it's a dream.

 

[walabee]

Thanks man! I was actually faced with the lesser of 2 evils situation. Remove the taxi shot or hope that no one realise this error. The taxi shot is used to build up the intensity and give more importance to that scene. This actually worked because only 1 or 2 people noticed it. But its a whole different story here

I felt the need to make the colours different in the 2 seperate realms. If not more ppl wld come to say wtf just happened?? Lol. Anyway, i feel subject like art is for u to experiment with. The repeat cuts may not work for many, but it may for Others. Very subjective. But the consensus here is that i shld Use other kind of cuts and shots. So im probably wrong with that.

But its always gd to know what the general audience go for

 

[icychilled]

Hope to see you in ADM soon!

Cheers,
Jason

 

[walabee]

i hope to see myself in ADM too! haha