Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Shizuma
- Start date
Shizuma
Senior Member
A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman - "Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied - "My husband's cheque book !!
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You Wonder, what happened.
Philosophy of marriage:
At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD...
Later, somehow don't know why….
alphabets get reversed..
Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word to the
the middle.!!!!
A woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp.
She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.
The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her the following wishes:
- I want my husband to have eyes only for me
- I want to be the only one in his life
- I want that when he gets up in the morning I'm the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes."
The Genie turned THE LADY into a IPhone 6
The woman replied - "My husband's cheque book !!
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You Wonder, what happened.
Philosophy of marriage:
At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD...
Later, somehow don't know why….
alphabets get reversed..
Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word to the
the middle.!!!!
A woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp.
She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.
The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her the following wishes:
- I want my husband to have eyes only for me
- I want to be the only one in his life
- I want that when he gets up in the morning I'm the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes."
The Genie turned THE LADY into a IPhone 6
UncleFai
Senior Member
hanzohattori
Senior Member
:bsmilie: only the pharmacist understand them ? :dunno:
Foxshade
Senior Member
Guy from India, China and Singapore went to a saloon bar for a drink.
After he finished his drink, the Indian guy threw his glass up in the air, pulled out his gun and shot it.
To his confused drinking buddies he explained: In India we have unlimited amount of glass. I don't want to drink from the same glass each time.
The guy from China follow suit. He finished his drink, threw his glass up in the air, pulled out his gun and shot it.
In China we have unlimited supply of sand from our desert to be processed in to glass. I don't want to drink from the same glass each time.
The guy from Singapore finished his drink, pulled out his gun and shot the other two.
To his dying buddies he explained: In Singapore we have so many people from China and India. I don't need to drink with same Chinese and Indian buddies each time....
After he finished his drink, the Indian guy threw his glass up in the air, pulled out his gun and shot it.
To his confused drinking buddies he explained: In India we have unlimited amount of glass. I don't want to drink from the same glass each time.
The guy from China follow suit. He finished his drink, threw his glass up in the air, pulled out his gun and shot it.
In China we have unlimited supply of sand from our desert to be processed in to glass. I don't want to drink from the same glass each time.
The guy from Singapore finished his drink, pulled out his gun and shot the other two.
To his dying buddies he explained: In Singapore we have so many people from China and India. I don't need to drink with same Chinese and Indian buddies each time....
kei1309
Senior Member
here's two of them. and they're recent and are getting rampant on social media:
Canon See Impossible Parody Teaser Skewers the Company for Not Innovating
What Canon Sees
What everyone else sees :bsmilie:
http://petapixel.com/2014/10/10/director-featured-canon-ad-says-used-sony-tells-canon-get-facts-right/
Canon See Impossible Parody Teaser Skewers the Company for Not Innovating
What Canon Sees
What everyone else sees :bsmilie:
http://petapixel.com/2014/10/10/director-featured-canon-ad-says-used-sony-tells-canon-get-facts-right/
kei1309
Senior Member
:bsmilie: yes
UncleFai
Senior Member
here's two of them. and they're recent and are getting rampant on social media:
Canon See Impossible Parody Teaser Skewers the Company for Not Innovating
What Canon Sees
What everyone else sees :bsmilie:
http://petapixel.com/2014/10/10/director-featured-canon-ad-says-used-sony-tells-canon-get-facts-right/
We see possible but they see impossible lor.
UncleFai
Senior Member
Francis247
Senior Member
Confucius said, "Men who go through airport door sideway... is going to Bangkok..."
Foxshade
Senior Member
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s station-wagon and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.
“I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”
“Not to worry,” Jack said, “we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. We’ll be gone at first light.”
The lady agreed and they settled into the barn for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they went on their way.
Nine months later, Jack got a letter from an attorney. After reading it, he thought for a few minutes and realized he must be the widow’s attorney.
He called up his friend Bob and said, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?” Jack asked.
“Yes, I have to admit that I did.”
“Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?” Jack asked.
Bobs face turns red and he said, “Yeah, I’m afraid I did.”
“Well, thanks!” Jack replied, “She just died and left me everything!”
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.
“I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”
“Not to worry,” Jack said, “we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. We’ll be gone at first light.”
The lady agreed and they settled into the barn for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they went on their way.
Nine months later, Jack got a letter from an attorney. After reading it, he thought for a few minutes and realized he must be the widow’s attorney.
He called up his friend Bob and said, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?” Jack asked.
“Yes, I have to admit that I did.”
“Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?” Jack asked.
Bobs face turns red and he said, “Yeah, I’m afraid I did.”
“Well, thanks!” Jack replied, “She just died and left me everything!”
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