EXPOSE Yourself - VIII

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


24. NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

 

[tainted]

So how's it going now? And is there no one else in the office? I think you should be glad they didn't come into your office to start the horny parade ;p

no I'm the only one in the office now.... Ugh.... If only you can read my mind...... :X

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


25. NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


26. MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

 

[maddyks]

no I'm the only one in the office now.... Ugh.... If only you can read my mind...... :X

Hmmmm you wanna kill them? I help? If you wanna join them, I'm not sure what I can do.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


27. TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


28. MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


29. ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


30. TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words"__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

 

[maddyks]

HA HA HA HA HA ZAC :bsmilie::bsmilie::bsmilie::bsmilie:

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


31. NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


32. SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

 

[maddyks]

I should start preparing the new thread just in case

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


33. ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

 

[zac08]

I should start preparing the new thread just in case

Prepped....

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


34. LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


35. GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

 

[maddyks]

And we hit 1k

New thread - http://www.clubsnap.com/forums/showthread.php?t=403866

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


36. BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

 

[zac08]

40 Mistakes Men make while having sex with women.


37. TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know