Welcome to APAW. A good attempt on your part to integrate the rules, but please beware of your focal point, as well as the composition. See, the words in the centre of the picture seems to be the sharpest point in the whole frame, which is kinda counter-productive in this case. The colouration of the frame also takes away all the attention from the frame, which again downplay the effectiveness of the 1/3 rules. Chris have a point in making this black and white, for the colours are simply too distracting from the subject. If not black and white, perhaps you could consider playing with the saturation and desaturate the frame partly (not totally).
Anyway, keep shooting.