haha, interesting. Some things that i thought could be improved:
1. Music and SFX was not really in sync with the cut. For audiences who are so used to K and J horror, music and SFX actually play a important role in cueing the audience and suspense building
2. The cuts for the kitchen scene could have been tighter like alfred hitchcock's style in psycho to bring out the intensity or it could have been prolonged stylistically to build suspense. Something in between makes it seems like a break in the rhythmn.
3. Actors and Actresses play a important role! A hollywood budgeted film will look crappy without sincere and serious contribution from the cast. In short, they can make or break a production! Might wanna inject in a bit more realism.
I have some examples of horror themed film done by local students too! From NTU WKWSCI COM206, a module that requires a 1 min video output at the end of the course.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSBqIClCDaA&feature=related
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZRe_0tXTM8
Just my amateurish take. Am a student too! Keep shooting!