Got this off yet another email and something to share with everyone here. 
Disclaimer: As this movie is R(A), some of the lines/dialogue does contain vulgarities so please do not read any further if you are likely to feel offended. If you have yet to watch the movie, read on at your own risk, as there are spoilers abound.
Enjoy.
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Revenge is a dish best served cold
Old Klingon Proverb
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BILL'S VOICE: I bet I could fry an egg on your head about now, if I wanted to.
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THE BRIDE: Looked dead, didn't I? Well I wasn't, but it wasn't for lack of trying, I can tell you that. Actually Bill's last bullet put me in a coma. A coma I was to lie in for five years. When I woke up, ...I went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a Roaring Rampage of Revenge. I roarded and I rampaged and I got bloody satisfaction. In all, I've killed 33 people to get to this piont right now. I have only one more. The last one. The one I'm driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination..... I'm gonna Kill Bill.
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THE HOUSEWIFE: This is a old friend of mommy's I ain't seen in a long time.
THE BRIDE: Hello sweety, I'm *(BLEEP)*, what's your name?
* Whenever during the picture somebody says The Bride's real name, it will be BLEEPED OUT ON THE SOUNDTRACK, ...that is, till I want you to know. *
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THE HOUSEWIFE: Want some coffee?
THE BRIDE: Yeah, sure.
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THE BRIDE: This Pasadena homemaker's name is Jeanne Bell. Her husband is Dr. Lawrence Bell. But back when we were acquainted, five years ago, her name was VERNITA GREEN. Her code name, was "COBRA"... Mine was BLACK MAMBA.
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THE BRIDE: Were you expecting me?
VERNITA: Yes and no. Bill got in touch with me right after you woke up, and then again a little later after your episode in Japan. So I suppose it's a little late for a apology, huh?
THE BRIDE: You suppose correctly.
VERNITA: Even if I was sincere?
THE BRIDE: Oh. I'm quite positive you're sorry, now.
VERNITA: Look bitch, I need to know if you're gonna start anymore shit around my baby girl!
THE BRIDE: You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in front of your daughter.
VERNITA: That's being more rational than Bill led me to believe you were capable of.
THE BRIDE: Well that's a demonstration of Bill's complete ignorance when it comes to the subject of me, and what I'm thinking, and what I might do. It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack, not rationality.
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THE BRIDE: I'll wait for now, but I won't wait for long. I'll allow you to choose a time and place for us to meet again, preferably as far away from Nikki as possible. I could have just HIT you, I didn't, I demand respect for that. Since this is not a HIT, consider it a DUEL. And as two former Deadly Vipers, we will observe Viper rules of honor. One on one - no help - no bushwhackin - no treacherous weapons - no weapon of choice - our skill and our bodies.
VERNITA: *(BLEEP)*
THE BRIDE: - I'm not through telling you. Failure to keep our date, or duplicity of any kind, will result in me putting a xoxo hollow point bullet into the back of your skull from a window of a building across the street from Nikki's elementary school. Now, feel free to respond.
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VERNITA: Look...I know I ****ed you over. I ****ed you over bad. I wish to God I hadn't, but I did. If I could go back in a machine I would, but I can't. All I can tell you is I'm a different person now.
THE BRIDE: I don't care.
VERNITA: Be that as it may, I know I do not deserve mercy or forgiveness. However, I beseech you for both on behalf of my daughter.
THE BRIDE: -- Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter, does not mean parading her around in front of me is going to inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn ****in thing you've done in the subsequent five years - including getting knocked up - is going to change that.
VERNITA: You have every right to wanna get even --
THE BRIDE: -- But that's where you're wrong, Vernita. I don't want to get even. To get even, even Steven. I would have to kill you, go into Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your old man, Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would make us even. No, my unborn daughter will just hafta be satisfied with your death at her mother's hands.
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VERNITA: When do we do this?
THE BRIDE: It all depends... When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? That's about as long as I'll wait.
VERNITA: How bout tonight, bitch?
THE BRIDE: Spendid. Where?
VERNITA: There's a baseball diamond where our little league has its games, about a mile from here. We meet there around two-thirty in the morning, dressed all in black, your hair in a black stocking, and we have us a knife fight, we won't be bothered. I have to fix Nikki's cereal.
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VERNITA: Sorry, bout the bushwhack. Please don't...
THE BRIDE: Do to your daughter, what you did to mine... I won't.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRIDE: It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it coming. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ELLE: I might never have liked you. Point in fact I despise you. But that doesn't suggest I don't respect you. You were a master of a profession that's most difficult to master. Dying in our sleep is a luxury our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.
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ELLE: Ya know now I get a better look at you, you're not so damn pretty. Yeah, you go that Venus thing going for you but...ya know, now I get a closer look at you you're kinda weird looking. You got this big nose that doesn't fit with the rest of your face, your eyes are two different sizes. And look at your skin...My complexion is way better than yours --
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THE ORDERLY: Now is that the cutest little blonde pussy you ever saw, or is that the cutest little blonde pussy, YOU-EVER-SAW?
WARREN: I seen better.
THE ORDERLY: Yeah, in a movie - maybe. But I know damn well this is the best pussy you ever saw you had touchin rights to. The price is seventy five dollars a **** gentlemen, you gittin your freak on or what? Here's the rules; Rule number one; no punchin 'er. Nurse comes in tomorrow an she got 'er a shiner - or less some teeth, jig's up. So no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little ****'s a spitter - it's a motor reflex thing but spit or no, no punchin. Now are we absolutely positively clear about rule number one?
TWO TRUCKERS: Yeah.
THE ORDERLY: Rule number two; No monkey bites, no hickeys - in fact no leavin no marks of no kind. But after that, it's allll goooood. Her plummin down there don't work no more, so feel free to cum in 'er all ya wont. Keep the noise down - try not to make a mess, and I'll be back in twenty.
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BUCK: Well, ain't you the slice of cutie pie they all said you wuz. Well Ma'am, I'm from Longview Texas, my name's Buck, and I'm here to ****.
THE BRIDE: Your name's Buck, right? And you came to ****, right?
Disclaimer: As this movie is R(A), some of the lines/dialogue does contain vulgarities so please do not read any further if you are likely to feel offended. If you have yet to watch the movie, read on at your own risk, as there are spoilers abound.
Enjoy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Revenge is a dish best served cold
Old Klingon Proverb
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BILL'S VOICE: I bet I could fry an egg on your head about now, if I wanted to.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRIDE: Looked dead, didn't I? Well I wasn't, but it wasn't for lack of trying, I can tell you that. Actually Bill's last bullet put me in a coma. A coma I was to lie in for five years. When I woke up, ...I went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a Roaring Rampage of Revenge. I roarded and I rampaged and I got bloody satisfaction. In all, I've killed 33 people to get to this piont right now. I have only one more. The last one. The one I'm driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination..... I'm gonna Kill Bill.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE HOUSEWIFE: This is a old friend of mommy's I ain't seen in a long time.
THE BRIDE: Hello sweety, I'm *(BLEEP)*, what's your name?
* Whenever during the picture somebody says The Bride's real name, it will be BLEEPED OUT ON THE SOUNDTRACK, ...that is, till I want you to know. *
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE HOUSEWIFE: Want some coffee?
THE BRIDE: Yeah, sure.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRIDE: This Pasadena homemaker's name is Jeanne Bell. Her husband is Dr. Lawrence Bell. But back when we were acquainted, five years ago, her name was VERNITA GREEN. Her code name, was "COBRA"... Mine was BLACK MAMBA.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRIDE: Were you expecting me?
VERNITA: Yes and no. Bill got in touch with me right after you woke up, and then again a little later after your episode in Japan. So I suppose it's a little late for a apology, huh?
THE BRIDE: You suppose correctly.
VERNITA: Even if I was sincere?
THE BRIDE: Oh. I'm quite positive you're sorry, now.
VERNITA: Look bitch, I need to know if you're gonna start anymore shit around my baby girl!
THE BRIDE: You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in front of your daughter.
VERNITA: That's being more rational than Bill led me to believe you were capable of.
THE BRIDE: Well that's a demonstration of Bill's complete ignorance when it comes to the subject of me, and what I'm thinking, and what I might do. It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack, not rationality.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRIDE: I'll wait for now, but I won't wait for long. I'll allow you to choose a time and place for us to meet again, preferably as far away from Nikki as possible. I could have just HIT you, I didn't, I demand respect for that. Since this is not a HIT, consider it a DUEL. And as two former Deadly Vipers, we will observe Viper rules of honor. One on one - no help - no bushwhackin - no treacherous weapons - no weapon of choice - our skill and our bodies.
VERNITA: *(BLEEP)*
THE BRIDE: - I'm not through telling you. Failure to keep our date, or duplicity of any kind, will result in me putting a xoxo hollow point bullet into the back of your skull from a window of a building across the street from Nikki's elementary school. Now, feel free to respond.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VERNITA: Look...I know I ****ed you over. I ****ed you over bad. I wish to God I hadn't, but I did. If I could go back in a machine I would, but I can't. All I can tell you is I'm a different person now.
THE BRIDE: I don't care.
VERNITA: Be that as it may, I know I do not deserve mercy or forgiveness. However, I beseech you for both on behalf of my daughter.
THE BRIDE: -- Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter, does not mean parading her around in front of me is going to inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn ****in thing you've done in the subsequent five years - including getting knocked up - is going to change that.
VERNITA: You have every right to wanna get even --
THE BRIDE: -- But that's where you're wrong, Vernita. I don't want to get even. To get even, even Steven. I would have to kill you, go into Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your old man, Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would make us even. No, my unborn daughter will just hafta be satisfied with your death at her mother's hands.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VERNITA: When do we do this?
THE BRIDE: It all depends... When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? That's about as long as I'll wait.
VERNITA: How bout tonight, bitch?
THE BRIDE: Spendid. Where?
VERNITA: There's a baseball diamond where our little league has its games, about a mile from here. We meet there around two-thirty in the morning, dressed all in black, your hair in a black stocking, and we have us a knife fight, we won't be bothered. I have to fix Nikki's cereal.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VERNITA: Sorry, bout the bushwhack. Please don't...
THE BRIDE: Do to your daughter, what you did to mine... I won't.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRIDE: It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it coming. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ELLE: I might never have liked you. Point in fact I despise you. But that doesn't suggest I don't respect you. You were a master of a profession that's most difficult to master. Dying in our sleep is a luxury our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ELLE: Ya know now I get a better look at you, you're not so damn pretty. Yeah, you go that Venus thing going for you but...ya know, now I get a closer look at you you're kinda weird looking. You got this big nose that doesn't fit with the rest of your face, your eyes are two different sizes. And look at your skin...My complexion is way better than yours --
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE ORDERLY: Now is that the cutest little blonde pussy you ever saw, or is that the cutest little blonde pussy, YOU-EVER-SAW?
WARREN: I seen better.
THE ORDERLY: Yeah, in a movie - maybe. But I know damn well this is the best pussy you ever saw you had touchin rights to. The price is seventy five dollars a **** gentlemen, you gittin your freak on or what? Here's the rules; Rule number one; no punchin 'er. Nurse comes in tomorrow an she got 'er a shiner - or less some teeth, jig's up. So no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little ****'s a spitter - it's a motor reflex thing but spit or no, no punchin. Now are we absolutely positively clear about rule number one?
TWO TRUCKERS: Yeah.
THE ORDERLY: Rule number two; No monkey bites, no hickeys - in fact no leavin no marks of no kind. But after that, it's allll goooood. Her plummin down there don't work no more, so feel free to cum in 'er all ya wont. Keep the noise down - try not to make a mess, and I'll be back in twenty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUCK: Well, ain't you the slice of cutie pie they all said you wuz. Well Ma'am, I'm from Longview Texas, my name's Buck, and I'm here to ****.
THE BRIDE: Your name's Buck, right? And you came to ****, right?
