Soon Chun Siong

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1359I've defied the instantaneousity of dochood by becoming a post-doc while a pre-doc, thereby causing a local reversal of time which gave rise to a worm hole trapping me in a stretched out never-ending space-time discontinuum. Based on my calculations, if I complete my post-doc before completing my pre-doc, time will be tied into a complete dead knot that will either form an isolated black hole, or supernova into new dimensions, creating a new universe, or project me to some random spot in time - since livability approaches infinitesimality in the almost infinity of time, I'll be left with a negligible chance of survival.